Discovering your spouse was unfaithful is an earth-shaking experience! When this happened, the faithful spouse who can come to terms with reality will be able to navigate this awful experience with some safety and sanity. They will save themselves some unnecessary suffering, in other words. Here are some important things to come to terms with: … Continue reading “Facing difficult truths”
Category: Theology of divorce
Adultery as an escape
An adulterous woman consumes a man, then wipes her mouth and says, “What’s wrong with that?” -Proverbs 30:20, NLT Some Cheaters “escape” the mundane issues of their lives into a fantasy world with their affair partner(s). You can never compete with this as the adulterous relationship is based on a fantasy–and not the reality of … Continue reading “Adultery as an escape”
Love darkness
And the judgment is based on this fact: God’s light came into the world, but people loved the darkness more than the light, for their actions were evil. -John 3:19, NLT Some people will choose the darkness over the light. This was true in Jesus’ day, and it is certainly true today. A wise person … Continue reading “Love darkness”
A certain pastoral stance
And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also. -Jeremiah 3:8, KJV Issues With “For the Marriage” Pastoral Stance Sometimes, pastors, you cannot both be … Continue reading “A certain pastoral stance”
Pro-Tip: Cheaters might just be projecting onto you!
Pro-Tip: Do not be shocked if they project their own issues onto you! Cheaters are not very good at owning their own behaviors. But they do excel at blaming others for their misdeeds. So, it should come as no surprise that the “sins” or “misdeeds” that they accused their spouses of are likely the misdeeds … Continue reading “Pro-Tip: Cheaters might just be projecting onto you!”
Brandon Hatmaker Speaks Out Re: Divorce from Jen Hatmaker
(Video as context for the written response from Jen Hatmaker’s ex-husband, Brandon Hatmaker.) Brandon Hatmaker writes his own response to Jen Hatmaker’s memoir, Awake. He wrote, “We are all bigger than our lowest moment: Here are five things I’d like to offer perspective on…” on September 22, 2025. In this, Brandon Hatmaker claims to be … Continue reading “Brandon Hatmaker Speaks Out Re: Divorce from Jen Hatmaker”
Kingdom Incompatibility
How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? -2 Corinthians 6:14b, NLT Cheaters have declared allegiance to the Kingdom of Darkness by their choices and actions. They speak in the language of their chosen kingdom–i.e. lies–and they choose to walk in darkness instead of light. This is the fundamental … Continue reading “Kingdom Incompatibility”
Permission to divorce comes with permission to remarry
When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. And when … Continue reading “Permission to divorce comes with permission to remarry”
Too much hating of divorce…
Too much hating of divorce is taught in church and not enough hating of adultery! I used to be of the camp that would say I hate divorce, too. These days I find that saying unhelpful. It perpetuates a poor translation of Malachi 2:16, which actually does not have God hating divorce. All of this … Continue reading “Too much hating of divorce…”
God hates sin, not divorce!
I have seen your adulteries, And your lustful neighings, The lewdness of your harlotry, Your abominations on the hills in the fields. Woe to you, O Jerusalem! Will you still not be made clean?” -Jeremiah 13:27, NKJV God Hates Adultery More Than He Hates Divorce. This is my response to Christian counselors and pastors who … Continue reading “God hates sin, not divorce!”