Category: Theology of divorce

To Be Seen: Where are the godly divorced testimonies in church?

Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. -Matthew 1:19, NIV And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; … Continue reading “To Be Seen: Where are the godly divorced testimonies in church?”

Feeding Into False Hope for Marriage Restoration

Sharing only testimonies of reconciled and restored marriages following adultery… feeds false hope in “reconciliation” for faithful spouses dealing with unrepentant cheaters. Show of hands. How many here thought their marriage was going to “make it” and then you would have a testimony about marriage reconciliation to share with others? I know I did. The … Continue reading “Feeding Into False Hope for Marriage Restoration”

Towards fixing Protestantism’s failings on forgiveness and supporting adultery victims

  So they sat down with him upon the ground seven days and seven nights, and none spake a word unto him: for they saw that his grief was very great. -Job 2:13, KJV Protestantism is big on sin and forgiveness. Emphasis on sin and forgiveness is pervasive through evangelical teaching and preaching. That is … Continue reading “Towards fixing Protestantism’s failings on forgiveness and supporting adultery victims”

“Starter Marriage” Craziness

Yet you say, “For what reason?”Because the Lord has been witnessBetween you and the wife of your youth,With whom you have dealt treacherously;Yet she is your companionAnd your wife by covenant. Malachi 2:14, NKJV One of the many awful ideas spouted in my first marriage’s demise was the suggestion it was a “starter marriage.” For those unfamiliar with … Continue reading ““Starter Marriage” Craziness”

Souls endure, not marriages

For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven. -Matthew 22:30, KJV This verse is very clear. Jesus tells us human marriage does not endure in heaven. Since this is true, spiritual counsel ought to take this into account. The priority ought to … Continue reading “Souls endure, not marriages”

Pastors as spiritual advisers, NOT dictators!

  11 No one can know a person’s thoughts except that person’s own spirit, and no one can know God’s thoughts except God’s own Spirit. 12 And we have received God’s Spirit (not the world’s spirit), so we can know the wonderful things God has freely given us. -1 Corinthians 2:11-12, NLT A good pastor understands he (or … Continue reading “Pastors as spiritual advisers, NOT dictators!”

Divorce Minister, Can you help?

Hi,   I need help addressing my elders in my church regarding adultery. My husband had an affair with another member. I caught him, he was sorry. The pastor had the girl apologize and say she wouldn’t contact my husband again. It was very hard, but I forgave my husband, and we tried to work … Continue reading “Divorce Minister, Can you help?”

“You just weren’t right for each other.”

“You just weren’t right for each other.” -Christian (giving a pass to the cheater) I find this sort of Monday morning quarterbacking annoying. It is obvious that a cheater and faithful spouse have different values based on their actions. That alone says that they are not compatible.  If we knew our spouse was going to … Continue reading ““You just weren’t right for each other.””

Bad enough…for you!

A cheater does not need to be a total monster in order to be bad for you. I suspect most cheaters (if not all) have some “redeeming” qualities about themselves. If they didn’t, we probably never would have married them in the first place. They are mix–like all of us–of good and bad traits. But … Continue reading “Bad enough…for you!”