Cheating does not “just happen.” Even those cheating events that happen with alcohol involved are evidence of what is already in the heart. The substance just lowered their inhibitions to act on the sin in their hearts. What is worse is those cheaters–who are many–who plan out months or years of cheating. It is hard … Continue reading “Calculated cheating”
Author: Divorce Minister
Downright dangerous lie
“The affair has nothing to do with our marriage problems.” -Lying Cheater This is a very dangerous lie. Various people may say this. The cheater may say this, and sometimes, sadly, pastors or other counselors may say this. Sadly, they may even believe the lie. The lie is dangerous, because it takes the focus off … Continue reading “Downright dangerous lie”
Be still and know I am God.
Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth. -Psalm 46:10, KJV Recently, I attended a conference where we experienced the ministry of the Holy Spirit. It was refreshing and stretching for me. This verse from the Psalms is a word that … Continue reading “Be still and know I am God.”
Ninth Anniverary Today!
Today is our wedding anniversary. Nine years married. It is hard to think we are almost at a decade. The time has flown. It feels like yesterday that we were smiling at each other and saying our vows on my in-laws’ back porch. I am so grateful for Ms. Fiestypants–Mrs. DM. She brings me so … Continue reading “Ninth Anniverary Today!”
Cannot compete against fantasy
May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. -Proverbs 5:18, NIV When I was dating my first wife (the cheater), I remember thinking about this dynamic. A committed relationship was very different than one that was not. The fantasy soon wears off when real life issues start impacting … Continue reading “Cannot compete against fantasy”
No hope? Self-fulfilling cheater prophecy.
“I just do not have any hope for our marriage.” -Cheater Ironically, faithful spouses are usually the ones who are accused of giving up on the marriage. The reality is that the cheater gave up on the marriage the moment they decided to violate their marriage vows. Plus, many of us–I suspect–sat in the counseling … Continue reading “No hope? Self-fulfilling cheater prophecy.”
“Friend” to lover
Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. -Proverbs 4:23, NLT I was listening to some of the Kenny Rogers’ songs. He died recently. One of his songs jumped out at me. His song, “Daytime Friends,” struck me as a song that illustrates a most basic principle regarding cheaters: … Continue reading ““Friend” to lover”
“Have you forgiven [Cheater]?”
![“Have you forgiven [Cheater]?”](https://i0.wp.com/www.divorceminister.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/wp-1643146116519.jpg?fit=1200%2C534&ssl=1)
“Have you forgiven your ex-wife?” -Inquiring Christian Let’s assume this person has not already passed judgment and condemned you as “bitter.” In other words, they are asking this question in good faith and out of genuine love for you. My response would be: What do you mean by “forgiven?” The answer to this question will … Continue reading ““Have you forgiven [Cheater]?””
Wicked schemers
There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes…. -Proverbs 6:16-18a, NIV Sad to say, I suspect many cheaters have planned out their deception and their exodus from the marriage. This is especially true–I suspect–when it comes … Continue reading “Wicked schemers”
Our spurned love
“Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing.” -Matthew 23:37, NIV Spurned love. I find it hard to believe a faithful spouse never loved their cheater. … Continue reading “Our spurned love”