Then David confessed to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” Nathan replied, “Yes, but the Lord has forgiven you, and you won’t die for this sin. Nevertheless, because you have shown utter contempt for the word of the Lord by doing this, your child will die.” -2 Samuel 12:13-14, NLT Is the cheater asking for forgiveness or simply seeking to avoid … Continue reading “Is the cheater seeking forgiveness or really just accountability?”
Author: Divorce Minister
PSA: Pastors, we are past marriage enrichment ideas.
Pastors, we–faithful spouses–are past talking about marriage enrichment issues. One of the many annoying things about talking to some Christians about infidelity is how they seem incapable of basic spiritual care triage. The serious nature of the situation does not register with some. They do not understand how working on “communication skills” is not going … Continue reading “PSA: Pastors, we are past marriage enrichment ideas.”
Skeptical of Miracle Christian Cheater Transformation Stories
26 For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins, 27 But a certain fearful looking for of judgment and fiery indignation, which shall devour the adversaries. -Hebrews 10:26-27, KJV When professing Christians choose to cheat, these verses highlight the serious nature of such … Continue reading “Skeptical of Miracle Christian Cheater Transformation Stories”
Could have chosen otherwise!
For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad. -2 Corinthians 5:10, KJV Stop. Stop beating yourself up over your cheater’s sins. I know it is tempting to keep analyzing … Continue reading “Could have chosen otherwise!”
Public Service Announcement: Being “miserable” does NOT justify cheating!
Public Service Announcement: Being “miserable” is no excuse to cheat! What astounds me is how some pastors do not think this one through very well. They “joke” about their wives “putting up” with them even in the presence of a divorced pastor whose wife cheated on him. They either fail to see how insensitive that … Continue reading “Public Service Announcement: Being “miserable” does NOT justify cheating!”
Tears of gratitude for kindness
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. -Galatians 5:22-23, NIV (emphasis mine) Without fail, I find myself tearing up when I hear stories of kindness. The stranger that stops for another in need and offers of themselves when they didn’t have to. I … Continue reading “Tears of gratitude for kindness”
Pro-Tip: Do NOT use your cheater’s individual therapist for help!
Pro-Tip: Do NOT use your cheater’s individual therapist* for help fixing the marriage! This is a hard learned lesson for me. It did not go well when I did not live by this tip. I will leave it at that. The problems with using your cheater’s individual therapist for the marriage issues are multifold: 1. … Continue reading “Pro-Tip: Do NOT use your cheater’s individual therapist for help!”
Divorce Minister Statistical Year in Review
At the beginning of 2021, I would like to pause to share some statistics about the ongoing reach of Divorce Minister: Taking Adultery Seriously during the past year, 2020. During 2020, Divorce Minister had: Views = 95,544 Visitors = 31,217 Countries/Territories of Origin = 153 The blog’s top five actual posts: 1. Nancy Ortberg shares … Continue reading “Divorce Minister Statistical Year in Review”
Pastors, be more biblical and leave divorce off your vice list!
Pastors, let us strike “divorce” from our list of social ills and vices! Before going through a divorce myself, I probably never would have understood the importance of this simple move. I was not sensitized to the subtle shaming messages such inclusion sends. What I have noticed is how pastors and other Christian leaders will … Continue reading “Pastors, be more biblical and leave divorce off your vice list!”
Cut the Connection
When at a conference following the fresh official end to my first marriage, I was given some solid advice about my future. Like two ships untying their lines from a dock, I was told to let my ex-wife sail her ship away, and I was to do the same. It was about cutting the cord … Continue reading “Cut the Connection”