Author: Divorce Minister

Joshua Harris’ Separation Announcement: Kissing Ordination Goodbye?

Joshua Harris is the author who wrote the purity-culture books I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship.  If you came of age in the ’90s (or later) in the conservative Christian world, these books were unavoidable. Their ideas were taught all over the place as the way to go for Christian teenagers … Continue reading “Joshua Harris’ Separation Announcement: Kissing Ordination Goodbye?”

So NOT friends with ex!

How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? -2 Corinthians 6:14b, NLT Some Christians expect faithful spouses to remain “friends” with their cheating ex-partner following divorce. This is insane! The expectation is wound up in a twisted and perverted understanding of what forgiveness demands in this situation. Guess what? … Continue reading “So NOT friends with ex!”

Let go of what you don’t control.

25 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? 26 Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? -Luke 12:25-26, NIV Sometimes, I find myself trying to control something outside of my control. Usually, this takes the form of worrying. I am pretty practiced at tormenting … Continue reading “Let go of what you don’t control.”

Would you say such a thing to your own best friend?

Would you say the same thing (you just thought about yourself) out loud about a really good friend? We, faithful spouses, can be our worst enemies. Instead of rejection the condemnation and shame, we heap it upon ourselves. This needs to stop.   There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ … Continue reading “Would you say such a thing to your own best friend?”

The proper biblical label of adultery is “evil!”

 “If a man is discovered committing adultery, both he and the woman must die. In this way, you will purge Israel of such evil.” -Deuteronomy 22:22, NLT What Christians need to understand is that adultery is truly evil! This is not “second fiddle” to divorce. Adultery is the main event in the evil performance. This … Continue reading “The proper biblical label of adultery is “evil!””

PSA: Adultery alone can cause divorce!

And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful. -Matthew 19:9, NLT It mystified me why good Christian pastors ever needed to hear more to the story of my marriage’s ending than verification that my ex-wife had committed adultery (and I hadn’t). The probing … Continue reading “PSA: Adultery alone can cause divorce!”

Divorce Minister Blog turns 5 years old today!

Five years and still going! This blog almost was killed several times in its short existence from outside threats. However, I have kept it going by God’s grace. God has used this blog to touch nearly 260,000 individual lives across the globe (198 countries/territories)! I really am amazed by what God has done with this … Continue reading “Divorce Minister Blog turns 5 years old today!”

Tantrums and cheater unhappiness

When a cheater is told “No,” they will likely get angry. They may even engage in a toddler tantrum. That is about their maturity level after all. An important lesson for faithful spouses to learn is how we are not responsible for how our cheater feels. We are responsible for our own emotions and actions … Continue reading “Tantrums and cheater unhappiness”

Jesus doesn’t always sound so forgiving!

 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.’” -Matthew 25:41, NIV Does this verse attributed to Jesus sound forgiving? Of course, not. My point is how so many people have a weak and distorted view of … Continue reading “Jesus doesn’t always sound so forgiving!”