How God Used “the Other Woman”: Saving Your Marriage after Infidelity by Tina Konkin I was shocked and saddened by the recent publication of this book (July 9, 2019) by a source that helped me during my ordeal with an unfaithful spouse. The book description is so awful; I have no plans to buy the … Continue reading “Awful book published by Focus on the Family(TM) on infidelity”
Author: Divorce Minister
Quick Update Re: Joshua Harris of “I KISSED DATING GOODBYE” book fame
Joshua Harris announced his “separation” from his wife recently. I did a post on that here. He has recently followed that announcement with two big pieces of news in another Instagram post: 1. The “separation” announcement was a divorce announcement according to Harris himself. He writes, “My heart is full of gratitude. I wish you … Continue reading “Quick Update Re: Joshua Harris of “I KISSED DATING GOODBYE” book fame”
Mailbag: Is there forgiveness without divorcing again?
Dear Divorce Minister, So I remarried and my circumstances aren’t clear. If I think I’ve sinned in doing so, is there forgiveness without divorcing again? I’m curious your toughts [sic]. -Sean Dear Sean, Since I do not know the circumstances surrounding the question, I am going to have to make some assumptions and give you … Continue reading “Mailbag: Is there forgiveness without divorcing again?”
Never-Divorce Stance Steals Faithful Spouse Agency
She saw that I divorced faithless Israel because of her adultery. -Jeremiah 3:8a, NLT The never-divorce stance of some Christians and pastors puts faithful spouses in a very passive position. They just have to take the abuse. Something is fundamentally wrong with one’s theology when accepting (and enabling, even) sin is what is taught. One … Continue reading “Never-Divorce Stance Steals Faithful Spouse Agency”
That feeling…
When a spouse announces divorce, the feeling can be devastating. I know that is how I felt when my ex made the announcement about seeing a divorce attorney. The loss of dreams, security, and future are incredible. It is not surprising such news can put a faithful spouse in shock. Shock is a normal grief … Continue reading “That feeling…”
Don’t use the kids
When a divorce happens, time with the children is divided up between parents. The kids are the innocent victims of the destruction wrought by the cheater’s sinful behavior. They shouldn’t pay even more. Please do not deny access to the kids to the cheater as a way to punish him or her for their sins! … Continue reading “Don’t use the kids”
Christian leaders, divorce needs to be a REAL option!
And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also. -Jeremiah 3:8, KJV Oddly, pastors and Christian counselors have been known to make the faithful spouse … Continue reading “Christian leaders, divorce needs to be a REAL option!”
“Bad Christian.” Ok.
“You’re a ‘bad Christian’ for not doing ….” -Cheater This shaming label used to make me jump to do my ex and others’ bidding. I did not want to be seen as a “bad Christian.” Then I wised up to the source. Is an unrepentant adulteress really qualified to wield such a label? Really?! I … Continue reading ““Bad Christian.” Ok.”
Other people can be wrong. Let them!
Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! -Isaiah 5:20, KJV Part of the injustice faithful spouses often experience is a community of people–even confessing Christians–who will not accept what happened. Some might even accept … Continue reading “Other people can be wrong. Let them!”
Mismatched values as in light and darkness
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? -2 Corinthians 6:14, KJV Whether one is abandoned or cheated on or both, the reality for faithful spouses is as stark as this verse from 2 Corinthians paints it. Light cannot fellowship with … Continue reading “Mismatched values as in light and darkness”