Public Service Announcement: Just because a specific third party was not present at the time of the abandonment does NOT necessarily mean the cheater left for reasons other than to cheat! Some people lack capacity for monogamy. They lack the required character it takes to keep their solemn vows to God and their spouse. I … Continue reading “PSA: Leaving for another…”
Author: Divorce Minister
A time for divorce, too.
For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. – Ecclesiastes 3:1, NLT Do we really believe this Bible verse? If we do, I suggest “everything” includes a time for divorce. Sometimes the season suggests to the wise that divorce is the proper course of action. In particular, I believe this … Continue reading “A time for divorce, too.”
Time Is NOT Needed
When a cheater plays for more time to decided whether or not to stop cheating, they have already decided. (And that is a decision against the marriage, by the way.) You do not owe them that time! In fact, giving them that time is reinforcing the belief that they are entitled to such time and … Continue reading “Time Is NOT Needed”
Over the line
Have you ever done a “mind map?” As I remember them from grade school, this is a brainstorming tool where one has a main idea in a bubble then related ideas connected to that bubble to form a web like picture. I know of a situation involving a cheater who utilized this tool to figure … Continue reading “Over the line”
Sermon: ‘Twas A Merry Mess!
Today, I decided to take my own advice and took the opportunity to fight divorce prejudice from the pulpit I serve. You see, I “just happened” to get Matthew 1:18-25 as one of my texts for my scheduled Sunday–i.e. Fourth Advent Sunday. So, I took the opportunity to fight divorce prejudice by pointing out that … Continue reading “Sermon: ‘Twas A Merry Mess!”
Abandoning Spouses CHOSE!
“You have to ask yourself: Why did she HAVE TO leave you?” – Cheater Apologist The pain of being abandoned is bad enough without the added insult of this mind game. A spouse who leaves another spouse is making a choice. To pose a question like this to the abandoned party is to obscure this fact … Continue reading “Abandoning Spouses CHOSE!”
Christians As Easy Targets For Narcissists
This morning I woke up to an email from Chump Lady. She sent me an insightful comment made on her blog post “Quit Waiting for an Apology.“ Here is what Nyra, who left the comment, wrote: Christians are easy targets for narcissistic people to manipulate & gaslight: Christians are to forgive someone 70×70 times therefore… … Continue reading “Christians As Easy Targets For Narcissists”
Narrative Control As Abuse
Cheaters often are very insistent about controlling the narrative on what happened to end the marriage. Some think that they are entitled to avoid the natural consequences that come with doing something very, very bad. You know, the sort of consequences that people tend to trust and esteem you less knowing how you treacherously betrayed your (former) … Continue reading “Narrative Control As Abuse”
Divorcing a cheater and social media
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.” -Isaiah 43:18, NIV Divorcing and–to a lesser degree–breaking up in general with a cheater is made more difficult during this age of electronic connection. We are all just more connected than we ever were through the blessing and curse known as social media. Within a … Continue reading “Divorcing a cheater and social media”
And then it was just another day.
And then it was just another day. Yesterday marked the anniversary of my divorce decree. The strange thing is that I had completely forgotten about that fact until today. In fact, I only remembered because I got engaged to Mrs. DM the day following my year anniversary of the divorce. I saw a picture reminding … Continue reading “And then it was just another day.”