Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. -Proverbs 3:3, NIV Cheaters have quit on the marriage. They have decided to go outside of the marriage to feed their sinful desires. Instead of repentance, many choose to double down on the wide and easy … Continue reading “The real quitter is the cheater.”
Signs of healing – Proud cat lover
Mr. Pickles, my furry buddy, 2012/2013 Years ago, I was insecure about my love of cats. Back then, I felt like it was unmanly to love cats. This obviously has changed. As one helpful counselor told me to say to myself, “I’m a man, and I like cats. So, men like cats.” Part of healing … Continue reading “Signs of healing – Proud cat lover”
Not a good sign
Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. -John 3:20, NIV Priorities are completely upended with cheaters. A Christian whose mind was not held captive by lies and deception would be ashamed of his or her cheating behavior. They would be … Continue reading “Not a good sign”
Not outsmarting God!
…and be sure your sin will find you out. -Numbers 32:23b, KJV He catches the wise in their craftiness, and the schemes of the wily are swept away. -Job 5:13, NIV From my cheater’s response in the initial confrontation over her adulterous affair, I am convinced she thought I would never discover her cheating. She … Continue reading “Not outsmarting God!”
Bad liars make for good spouses.
Pro-Tip: Marry a Bad Liar One of Mrs. DM’s many endearing traits is that she is a bad liar. I can tell when she is trying to fool me…usually. My ex-wife was (and is?) an excellent liar in my opinion. And that is not a complement. It is my observation. It was chilling how well … Continue reading “Bad liars make for good spouses.”
All the emphasis on “owning your part”
I remember attending a popular Christian divorce ministry. This ministry puts a great deal of effort in “preventing” divorces and emphasizes how costly they are. Another aspect of this ministry was how they emphasized owning “your part” of the divorce. I believe this emphasis is a subtle blame shift. The subtle part is the assumption … Continue reading “All the emphasis on “owning your part””
Wanting it all back to “normal”
18 Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. 19 Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert. -Isaiah 43:18-19, KJV When the news broke for me, I remember driving … Continue reading “Wanting it all back to “normal””
Divorcing a cheater is NOT about revenge
And Joseph her husband, being a righteous man and not wanting to disgrace her, planned [to divorce her] secretly. -Matthew 1:19, NASB (footnoted alternate translation used in brackets) Do we consider a rape victim “hurt and vengeful” for choosing to have her rapist prosecuted for his crime? I wouldn’t. It is a matter of justice … Continue reading “Divorcing a cheater is NOT about revenge”
PSA: No list!
Public Service Announcement (PSA): Do not send your cheater a list of reasons you want to remain married to them! Yes, I learned this one the hard way. Such a list only invites entitled contempt from the cheater. The last thing a cheater needs is someone stroking their ego. They already think they are awesome–even … Continue reading “PSA: No list!”
Telling you how a Christian should behave
How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? -Matthew 7:4, NIV Some cheaters are so bold as to believe they know how YOU need to improve as a Christian! They are breaking several of the … Continue reading “Telling you how a Christian should behave”