Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. -Hebrews 11:1, NIV Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love. -I Corinthians 13:13, NLT When going through the darkness, faith in God’s goodness is important. This faith is an act of … Continue reading “Hope grows when we have faith in God’s love for us!”
Do not call it “a mistake!”
Cheating on a spouse is not just “a mistake.” We all make mistakes. True. No one is perfect. However, plenty of people never commit adultery. Many people are not involved in raping their spouse’s soul. Plenty of individuals do not live double lives or engage in concerted gas-lighting behavior to keep their spouse from believing the … Continue reading “Do not call it “a mistake!””
Look for guilty, NOT shameful cheaters for promising change!
Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. -2 Corinthians 7:10, NIV When trying to determine real repentance, I recommend watching for a guilt-response as opposed to a shame-response from the cheater. What do I mean by a “guilt response” versus a “shame response?” A “guilt … Continue reading “Look for guilty, NOT shameful cheaters for promising change!”
Transported by a song
Yesterday, Mrs. and Munchkin were with me at a local restaurant. A country song came on overhead, and I was immediately transported to my first honeymoon. Poignant was the memory. Kind of sad but also happy in the sense that it was a joyous time when the memory was made. This is grief. I am … Continue reading “Transported by a song”
Choose not to enter their warped reality!
There is more hope for fools than for people who think they are wise. –Proverbs 26:12, NLT They traded the truth about God for a lie…. –Romans 1:25a, NLT Cheaters can come across as so confident in their lies. This confidence has the power to make even the most stalwart faithful spouse second-guess their instincts, hard evidence, … Continue reading “Choose not to enter their warped reality!”
Invest in relationships that “feed” you!
Our days on earth are like grass; like wildflowers, we bloom and die. -Psalm 103:15, NLT I work in a field where I encounter death on a fairly regular basis. Such is the environment of a chaplain in a medical field. These encounters bring clarity that is often lost on a society, which tries to … Continue reading “Invest in relationships that “feed” you!”
Sometimes the season dictates divorce.
For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. -Ecclesiastes 3:1, NLT Sometimes choosing divorce is the best of bad options left for a faithful spouse. This is why I cite this wisdom verse. It is allegedly written by the wisest of all humans–bar Jesus–King Solomon. Everything means everything. That includes … Continue reading “Sometimes the season dictates divorce.”
Beware of oversharing
Some people just cannot handle the souls of others well. The conversation where a faithful spouse spills their grief and pain results in a shaming exercise where the Christian listener warns the faithful spouse about bitterness and God’s hatred of divorce. I know I fell into the “oversharing trap” early in my marriage’s dissolution. Too … Continue reading “Beware of oversharing”
Word of Caution: You’re vulnerable!
Beware that the ending of your marriage leaves you vulnerable! I am not suggesting living in fear. However, I recommend a sober-eyed assessment about how your needs leave you open to unhealthy relationships. In separation and early divorce, you are grieving and learning how to deal with loneliness and loss of intimacy with the opposite … Continue reading “Word of Caution: You’re vulnerable!”
“Dating” while married fosters entitlement
Growing up in evangelical church circles, I heard the common teaching about couples “date nights” as if forever “dating” your spouse should be the norm. I think this teaching is both unwise and unhealthy. Don’t get me wrong: I believe investing in couples time is important. However, calling it “dating” is unwise. As I mentioned … Continue reading ““Dating” while married fosters entitlement”