Cheater Childish Mindset: “Mine! Mine! Mine!”

“‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh.” -Mark 10:7-8, NIV “Mine!” A Toddler’s Mindset In Marriage One of  the oddest dynamics that I have seen over and again while dealing with … Continue reading “Cheater Childish Mindset: “Mine! Mine! Mine!””

Subtle blame of faithful spouses in churches

The one who sins is the one who will die. The child will not share the guilt of the parent, nor will the parent share the guilt of the child. Ezekiel 18:20a, NIV Sometimes church leaders subtly blame faithful spouses for a divorce from a cheater. I say that it is subtle because it almost … Continue reading “Subtle blame of faithful spouses in churches”

Mailbag: What to do with “friends” who are both unrepentant cheaters?

“How to respond when both spouses in a marriage have committed adultery; and remain impenitent.  Should you maintain a friendship with both, either, or neither?” –Iwoots Dear Iwoots, What does the Bible have to say about such a situation? But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims … Continue reading “Mailbag: What to do with “friends” who are both unrepentant cheaters?”

Validation: “Yes, it happened. Yes, it was wrong.”

Reality validation. This is gift others can give to a faithful spouse. Sometimes we need someone to tell us the simple but hard truth. The adultery happened. And–no–we are in no way responsible for the infidelity. It was wrong. No justification for the cheater cheating exists. I think these messages are especially important for the … Continue reading “Validation: “Yes, it happened. Yes, it was wrong.””

Shaking off their dust may be the best thing to do!

“But if any place refuses to welcome you or listen to you, shake its dust from your feet as you leave to show that you have abandoned those people to their fate.” -Mark 6:11, NLT At some point, we need to let go of the need for an apology and reparations for the wrongs we … Continue reading “Shaking off their dust may be the best thing to do!”

They already think they are special.

“This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV Cheaters do not need reminders of their specialness. They need reminders that they are accountable for their sinful behavior. A godly pastor will keep this in mind when dealing with a cheater. … Continue reading “They already think they are special.”