“Sure, some of what he stated was false. But was there anything true in his criticism of you?” -Cheater Supporter He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” -Genesis 3:1b, NIV Danger! Danger! Danger! When a cheater apologist encourages you to dig in the … Continue reading ““Was there anything true in his criticism?””
Reminder to forgive really for whom?
Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. -Romans 12:15, NKJV What astounds me about some Christians is how they believe they are helping faithful spouses by telling them that they must forgive their cheater. Most of us–faithful spouses–already understand forgiving our cheater is on the docket of things to do in … Continue reading “Reminder to forgive really for whom?”
Walking on wild water!
So Peter stepped out onto the water and began to walk toward Jesus. 30 But when he realized how high the waves were, he became frightened and started to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he cried out. 31 Jesus immediately stretched out his hand and lifted him up and said, “What little faith you have! Why would you let doubt … Continue reading “Walking on wild water!”
Understanding forgiveness from Matthew 6:14-15
One good thing that came out of my ex-wife’s adultery and my consequential divorce from her is that I know God’s Word much better than before particularly in regards to forgiveness and repentance. A lot of what I got from the Christian community was Matt 6:14-15: 14 For if you forgive other people when they … Continue reading “Understanding forgiveness from Matthew 6:14-15”
An especially dangerous lie
“The affair has nothing to do with our marriage problems.” -Lying Cheater This is a very dangerous lie. Sometimes the cheater says this, and sometimes, sadly, pastors or other counselors say this. It is dangerous because it takes the focus off the most destructive behavior–namely, the adultery. Clearly, we know this is a lie because … Continue reading “An especially dangerous lie”
Cheater-Speak: “She means nothing to me.”
“She (or He) means nothing to me.” -Cheater It curious how cheaters are willing to throw away very meaningful things–at least, for some people–like their character and marriage vows for someone who they claim “means nothing” to them. My point is such statements coming from a cheater are lies. The cheater might believe them themselves. But … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “She means nothing to me.””
Tale of Two 6th Anniversaries
Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. -Proverbs 31:10, KJV Today is our wedding anniversary. Mrs. DM and I have been married six years. The length of our marriage soon will eclipse the length of my first stormy one. The irony of this proverb is how I had the … Continue reading “Tale of Two 6th Anniversaries”
Competing against a fantasy
May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. -Proverbs 5:18, NIV When I was dating my first wife (the cheater), I remember thinking about this dynamic. A committed relationship was very different than one that was not. The fantasy soon wears off when real life issues start impacting … Continue reading “Competing against a fantasy”
Cheater claims no hope.
“I just do not have any hope for our marriage.” -Cheater Ironically, faithful spouses are usually the ones who are accused of giving up on the marriage. The reality is that the cheater gave up on the marriage the moment they decided to violate their marriage vows. Plus, many of us–I suspect–sat in the counseling … Continue reading “Cheater claims no hope.”
Do not just stay daytime friends!
Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. -Proverbs 4:23, NLT I was listening to some of the Kenny Rogers’ songs. He died recently. One of his songs jumped out at me. His song, “Daytime Friends,” struck me as a song that illustrates a most basic principle regarding cheaters: … Continue reading “Do not just stay daytime friends!”