Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.* -Matthew 7:5, NIV If your cheater does not understand and affirm that the presence of the Other Man/Other Woman is a problem, then your marriage is doomed without any … Continue reading “When cheaters see no problem…”
Behave like Abraham?
Then God said, “Take your son, your only son, whom you love—Isaac—and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on a mountain I will show you.” -Genesis 22:2, NIV Is this advice all godly parents ought to follow, literally? No. I raise this absurd example to highlight how foolish it is … Continue reading “Behave like Abraham?”
Working on “communication”
The only “communication” issue needing addressing stat is the absolute , verified ending the affair. A cheater can keep a pastor and faithful spouse chasing random rabbit trails for a very long time if they are convinced the marriage issues are anything other than ending the affair. Lot of energy can be lost focusing on … Continue reading “Working on “communication””
Depart from me?!
21 “Not every one that saith unto me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. 22 Many will say to me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? … Continue reading “Depart from me?!”
When “working on the marriage” is a barrier to godliness.
“Let’s set aside the affair for a moment. We need to work on your marriage. You each have problems you need to own.” -Pastor/Christian Counselor If a version comes out of your pastors or counselor’s mouth, it is time to find a new pastor or counselor. They are dangerously clueless. Fidelity is a bedrock for … Continue reading “When “working on the marriage” is a barrier to godliness.”
Separating Out
“My relationship with [Affair Partner] has nothing to do with our marriage problems.” -Cheater When a cheater is separating out the affair from the marriage troubles, you can be assured they are not interested in healing and restoring the marriage. They have told themselves the lie that their present marital problems are unrelated to the … Continue reading “Separating Out”
The verse does not say…
Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay,” saith the Lord. -Romans 12:19, KJV I find this verse instructive as it comes to forgiving cheaters. First, it tells us to release to God our fantasies of taking revenge on our abusers. Many … Continue reading “The verse does not say…”
Need a safe place to fall apart.
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance…. -Ecclesiastes 3:4, KJV When a marriage ends, we need a space where we can be honest with our pain. Often times, that includes “the ugly cry.” I encourage you all to find a place where you can … Continue reading “Need a safe place to fall apart.”
Podcast resource on topic of biblical forgiveness
Forgiveness is such a tricky subject to handle as it comes to marital infidelity. Many Christians–including pastors and counselors–get it wrong as to what it means to forgive. Today, I am including a link to a recent podcast by Julie Roys, The Roys Report, as she explores the topic of biblical forgiveness: “What Does Forgiveness Really … Continue reading “Podcast resource on topic of biblical forgiveness”
Pro-Tip: She’s cheating if she considers his opinion is more important than yours.
He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church…. –Ephesians 5:28b-29, NIV PRO TIP: If another dude’s feelings are more important to your wife than yours, then that is a clear signal that your … Continue reading “Pro-Tip: She’s cheating if she considers his opinion is more important than yours.”