“And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ….” -Ephesians 3:17b-18, NIV The Good News–i.e. the Gospel–starts with this unfathomable thought: The God of the Universe knows and … Continue reading “Sink roots in God’s love for you”
Not “a mistake”
Cheating on a spouse is not just “a mistake.” We all make mistakes. True. No one is perfect. However, plenty of people never commit adultery. Many people are not involved in raping their spouse’s soul. Plenty of individuals do not live double lives or engage in concerted gas-lighting behavior to keep their spouse from believing the … Continue reading “Not “a mistake””
Discerning change? Look for guilt, not shame, response in cheater.
Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. -2 Corinthians 7:10, NIV When trying to determine real repentance, I recommend watching for a guilt-response as opposed to a shame-response from the cheater. What do I mean by a “guilt response” versus a “shame response?” A … Continue reading “Discerning change? Look for guilt, not shame, response in cheater.”
Gratitude Lessons from the Polar Vortex
You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people. Genesis 50:20, NLT This past week we experienced some of the coldest weather in a long time. The picture above is from my car and wasn’t even the … Continue reading “Gratitude Lessons from the Polar Vortex”
Do NOT enter their warped reality!
There is more hope for fools than for people who think they are wise. –Proverbs 26:12, NLT They traded the truth about God for a lie…. –Romans 1:25a, NLT Cheaters can come across as so confident in their lies. This confidence has the power to make even the most stalwart faithful spouse second-guess their instincts, hard evidence, … Continue reading “Do NOT enter their warped reality!”
Stop fighting what IS!
Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right. -Proverbs 20:11, KJV Look at your partner’s actions. Is this the sort of thing someone who truly loves another person would do to them? Is this the sort of thing someone who truly is sorry would do? Is this the … Continue reading “Stop fighting what IS!”
Sometimes it is time for divorce.
For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. -Ecclesiastes 3:1, NLT Sometimes choosing divorce is the best of bad options left for a faithful spouse. This is why I cite this wisdom verse. It is allegedly written by the wisest of all humans–bar Jesus–King Solomon. Everything means everything. That includes … Continue reading “Sometimes it is time for divorce.”
No one deserves the adulterous betrayal and discard!
Two wrongs do not make a right. -Moms around the world No one ever deserves the adulterous betrayal and discard. Another way of saying this is to say that NOTHING justifies committing sins against another. I do not read the Bible ever giving us permission to sin. Adultery is sin. Discarding a faithful spouse after cheating on … Continue reading “No one deserves the adulterous betrayal and discard!”
Vulnerable, vulnerable, vulnerable!
Beware that the ending of your marriage leaves you vulnerable! I am not suggesting living in fear. However, I recommend a sober-eyed assessment about how your needs leave you open to unhealthy relationships. In separation and early divorce, you are grieving and learning how to deal with loneliness and loss of intimacy with the opposite … Continue reading “Vulnerable, vulnerable, vulnerable!”
Cheaters “under the influence”
Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit…. Ephesians 5:18, NIV What if your cheater was drunk or “under the influence” of another drug when she cheated? I actually have more hope for those marriages than the ones where a substance was not involved. My reasoning is the … Continue reading “Cheaters “under the influence””