“Agreed, you didn’t file the papers.”

“Agreed, you didn’t file the [divorce] papers.” -Church Official After I had successfully defended my ministerial license with my now former denomination, I was forced to undergo a year of pastoral “care.” The official in charge of this year–knowing the awful details of my divorce–made a version of the above statement. If you did not … Continue reading ““Agreed, you didn’t file the papers.””

Divorce: A choice of a righteous man!

NIV1984 Righteous. This is the word used in the same sentence about a man choosing divorce in light of (assumed) adultery. The Bible has forever associated the word righteous with the choice to divorce. It is part of the Christmas story! God does not shame Joseph in this passage for deciding to divorce a pregnant … Continue reading “Divorce: A choice of a righteous man!”

“You’re so defensive!” Manipulation

“You’re so defensive!” says Manipulator. “You have to learn to take honest feedback better.” “You’re so defensive!” Manipulation I call this a manipulation because the person making the statement effectively turns our attention away from what they said or did to your response. They have changed the subject from their misbehavior to your reaction to … Continue reading ““You’re so defensive!” Manipulation”

Why not focus on Cheater repentance more?

Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many. -Hebrews 12:15b, NLT 26 If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, 27 but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God. -Hebrews 10:26-27, … Continue reading “Why not focus on Cheater repentance more?”

Are you angry with the wicked, too?!

God is a just judge, And God is angry with the wicked every day. -Psalm 7:11, NKJV A common false teaching among Christians is one where anger is treated as sinful. This false teaching serves abusers. Abusers can appeal to this false teaching to manipulate situations and paint their victims as “sinful” for their anger. The question over why … Continue reading “Are you angry with the wicked, too?!”

Cheaters as provokers. Don’t give them the satisfaction.

A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls. -Proverbs 25:28, NLT For God will never give you the spirit of fear, but the Holy Spirit who gives you mighty power, love, and self-control. -2 Timothy 1:7, TPT Some cheaters thrive off of provoking the faithful spouse to anger. I believe this. It … Continue reading “Cheaters as provokers. Don’t give them the satisfaction.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you” Cheater Line

“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” says tearful Cheater. Notice what is missing in such a statement from a Cheater: -No mention of what they did being wrong. -No hint that they would not do it, again. -No remorse for your pain. They are trying to manage their own conscience and protect their image with … Continue reading ““I didn’t mean to hurt you” Cheater Line”