Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions. -Proverbs 18:2, NIV Cheaters have a vested interest in having your agreement to their marriage ending narrative. If they have anything left of a conscience, they hope to alleviate the internal pain by getting your agreement to their narrative. Of course, this … Continue reading “Cheaters deeply invested in their own narrative”
PSA: Get Tested, Please!
When I was going through my divorce after discovering infidelity, I went to the doctor’s office to get tested for Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs). It was the wise thing to do. That was a hard doctor’s visit. Thankfully, my results came back negative. But it was necessary for peace of mind following such nasty deception. … Continue reading “PSA: Get Tested, Please!”
Cheater-Speak: “I was afraid you would get angry…”
“I was afraid you would get angry. That is why I did not tell you [I was cheating on you].” -Cheater Isn’t it amazing how a Cheater can make their lying your fault? Now, we know their lies are their lies. However, Cheaters are adept at shifting blame. In this mind trick: The speaker is blaming their … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I was afraid you would get angry…””
My ministry philosophy
35 Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. 36 When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. -Matthew 9:35-36, NIV My hurt is burdened for those who are … Continue reading “My ministry philosophy”
Another Anniversary of Sorts
Today marks eleven years since I became officially divorced from my Cheater. I probably would have forgotten that fact if not for running this blog and seeing an old post marking its passing. That is how insignificant the date has become now. This day is a day that I could not foresee when my divorce … Continue reading “Another Anniversary of Sorts”
Need to be assertive
After learning about the cheating, it is imperative to be assertive. This is why anger is helpful. I struggled with this one, honestly. The fear of the future and wishing to avoid divorce at all costs–initially–led me to make mistakes. The advice out there for Christians–especially–is generally unhelpful with this. It has a tendency to … Continue reading “Need to be assertive”
Terror of financial dependence
The terror of financial dependence is real. One way a nasty Cheater takes out their covert anger on a faithful spouse is to use their financial power over them. When the Cheater is the primary breadwinner, a new terror enters the equation with infidelity discovery: What will I do to meet my needs if they … Continue reading “Terror of financial dependence”
Don’t want someone’s pity.
“I can tell you are still tender, healing.” -“Well-Meaning” Observer What bothers me the most about these sort of statements is how they are usually stated as a way to express compassion for the faithful spouse but really just communicate pity. Who enjoys being the object of pity?! Now, it is true that the infidelity … Continue reading “Don’t want someone’s pity.”
What went wrong? Adulterous abuse is what.
Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV Christians need not dig very deep to figure out what went wrong in a marriage when adultery occurred. Modern psychology and so called “Christian” counseling might disagree with me. However, I am very adamant that we do not treat adultery as a side issue or symptom to … Continue reading “What went wrong? Adulterous abuse is what.”
Thou Shalt NOT Divorce?!
Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV The way many pastors preach about divorce you would be forgiven if you thought this verse from the Ten Commandments read: “Thou shalt not divorce!” This is a problem. It means we have a poor theology of marriage and divorce in our churches. Victims of adultery are … Continue reading “Thou Shalt NOT Divorce?!”