16 But the Lord God warned him, “You may freely eat the fruit of every tree in the garden— 17 except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If you eat its fruit, you are sure to die.”
-Genesis 2:16-17, NLT
Wanting “understanding” is a trap!
Obtaining some knowledge is too costly. That is a lesson that can be taken from Genesis 2 and 3. Not all knowledge is a good thing.
Sometimes it is better to NOT know!
(That includes all the details of their sins against us. Sometimes God prevents us from gaining all that knowledge as a mercy.)
Some people get stuck in trying to understand their cheater. They try to understand all the reasons behind the abusive behavior. This is effort better spent protecting oneself from said abuse.
And I know that is easier said than done.
It is just so hard to believe our spouse did what they did. I know I’ve been there myself struggling to accept such a dark reality.
And then there are those who think it is appropriate for us to “understand” our cheater’s “reasons.”
I am sorry, but that is to double down on abuse. We would not tell a battered spouse to engage in such explorations if we were competent caring people.
It is even worse coming from the Cheater or the abuser defenders!
They use “understanding” as a way to “justify” what is unjustifiable. The commandment not to commit adultery does not have exceptions! But you would not know that by the way these people talk.
