“You will drink from the brook, and I have directed the ravens to supply you with food there.” -I Kings 17:4, NIV Do you need someone to take care of you?! This accusation was aimed to shame. It was aimed to suggest the person hearing it was less than an adult. But it missed the … Continue reading “You need someone to take care of you?!”
Category: Trauma of adultery
Mailbag: Why does a spouse cheat on their spouse who is a pastor?
Why would a spouse married to a pastor or chaplain cheat on him (or her)? My answer to this question really is the same answer I would give to someone who asked why their spouse cheated on them. It really is simple. The cheater somewhere accepted an “excusing lie” that permitted them to cheat. A … Continue reading “Mailbag: Why does a spouse cheat on their spouse who is a pastor?”
Mailbag: Common sort of arguments with a cheater?
Divorce Minister, Thank you so much for this blog. This has become a place I go to on a daily basis for answers and general enlightenment. So, I have another question for you. I’m still living my “best life now” with my WW. 😳 The actual infidelity was many years ago. But, since that time … Continue reading “Mailbag: Common sort of arguments with a cheater?”
PSA: Cheating is a choice.
Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery. -Hebrews 13:4, NLT Choosing to cheat is just that… A CHOICE! It is a sinful choice. And a God-defying choice. A choice that the chooser explicitly said, promised, and vowed … Continue reading “PSA: Cheating is a choice.”
Pride before fall. Cheaters thinking they will never get caught.
But if you fail to keep your word, then you will have sinned against the LORD, and you may be sure that your sin will find you out. -Numbers 32:23, NLT (emphasis mine) What amazes me is how cheaters seem to believe their sins and treachery are beyond discovery by faithful spouses! To be fair, … Continue reading “Pride before fall. Cheaters thinking they will never get caught.”
On preferring “to be imagining things”
Discovering you spouse has been committing adultery is an incredibly traumatic experience. -You want to be wrong–even crazy is preferable to the real traumatic mess this actually is! -You want your world NOT to be upended and obliterated like it is. -In short, you want to wake up from this nightmare. This is grief and … Continue reading “On preferring “to be imagining things””
Faithful Spouse, fixing this does not fix this!
For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God… -Romans 3:23, KJV While it is wise and admirable to work on one’s own sins, issues, and shortcomings, I believe it is important to be clear about one thing: Faithful Spouse, “fixing” yourself cannot fix your adultery-ravaged marriage. Despite what “Christian” books and … Continue reading “Faithful Spouse, fixing this does not fix this!”
Pet Peeve: Not keeping one’s word!
Lord, who may dwell in your sacred tent?     Who may live on your holy mountain? …who keeps an oath even when it hurts,     and does not change their mind…. Psalm 15:1, 4b, NIV My grandfather, Leverne, was an old school, North Dakotan farmer. His word was his bond. It was a word and a handshake. That is … Continue reading “Pet Peeve: Not keeping one’s word!”
Perfect picture without substance behind it.
“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which indeed appear beautiful outwardly, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness.” -Matthew 23:27, NKJV I have noticed a common phenomenon with cheaters and their families of origin. Often times, they come from families that have an appearance of … Continue reading “Perfect picture without substance behind it.”
Fact: Cheaters are the marriage flunkies!
“You shall not commit adultery.” -Exodus 20:14, NIV (from The Ten Commandments) Fact: Cheaters are marriage flunkies. One of the most basic lessons in Christian marriage is adhering to this classic and consistent prohibition regarding sex with marriage outsiders. Cheaters have–spectacularly, in some cases–flunked this most basic of marriage lessons. Yet for some reason, … Continue reading “Fact: Cheaters are the marriage flunkies!”