Sing to the Lord, all you godly ones!
Praise his holy name.
For his anger lasts only a moment,
but his favor lasts a lifetime!
Psalm 30:4-5a, NLT
We cannot heal or grow if we shame ourselves for having feelings. Similarly, we cannot heal or grow if we allow others to shut us down for feeling a sort of way. That is not the model of Scripture.
God welcomes us to share our honest feelings.
Just read the Psalms if you do not believe me!
Today, I had a moment or so of anger remembering a situation with my (now) former father-in-law (FIL). As I remembered, he met with me and was trying to get me to stop my friends/family from telling his daughter that divorcing me was wrong–which it was for her, the adulteress.
At the time, I was too angry to register what he was really telling me by making that request:
He was telling me that he was behind his daughter divorcing me and didn’t want anymore interference.
Fast-forward to today, I was angry remembering this as I was either not “allowed” to be angry about this at the time or was too overload emotionally to process what happened. So, I got angry…for a moment.
I was kind to myself and allowed myself to feel the anger over the wrong perpetrated against me by my former FIL. His assault on my marriage to his daughter was ungodly, and my anger was a righteous one in this instance. He was violating a sacred boundary and breaking his public promise on our wedding day to support the marriage.
Then I remembered that I had chosen to forgive him. So, I handed this latest memory–figuratively–back to God for Him to handle.
Besides, I like the outcome today where I am married to a true gem of a woman with real character! God turned what that “man” intended for evil into incredible good for me.
So, I encourage you in your healing journey to not shame yourself or allow others shame you for feeling angry or sad or whatever over what happened to you. It does not make you a “bad” Christian for having such feelings. It just means you are alive and human.
You have to go through the emotions to be transformed. And remember, denial is not forgiveness even if some people mistake it for such.
Denial is not healthy or helpful.
God did not design us for denial.