You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies. – John 8:44, ESV
Adultery always comes with lies from the unfaithful spouse.
And what troubles me in many approaches to dealing with its aftermath is how the pattern of lies are not treated with the severity they deserve. In other words, Christian leaders fail to take seriously these words of Jesus and warn the habitual liar that they are in dire straits. With each lie, one declares his or her allegiance to the father of lies.
When does telling lies no longer become a choice but a state of being?
I will never forget the look in my ex-wife’s eyes as I confronted her that August day about her adultery partner. She was clearly shocked that I found out (arrogant enough to think that I never would, obviously), and I almost could see the war going on inside of her. The house of cards or–more accurately–the house of lies was under the spotlight. And I remember thinking to myself at the time when she chose to lie yet again about her adultery partner that she could not face the truth and collapse her house of lies.
The lies owned her.
Truth is the only antidote to lies. And it is the only thing that can set someone free from the chains binding them to sin and Satan’s clutches. That is why we must be ruthless with lies and adultery (see Hebrews 12:4).
In fact, the only kind and caring person in these situations is the person willing to present the truth. They need to be strong and not give a quarter to the “justifying,” “blame-shifting,” “minimizing,” or “excusing” lies used to hide the ugly truth of what took place.