My football coaches didn’t hate me…
…but they did hold me accountable for my actions on the field.
For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad.
– 2 Corinthians 5:10, KJV
What strikes in the discussions about infidelity is how “radical” the idea of personal responsibility is treated. I have been characterized as angry for stating the obvious that my (now) ex-wife is fully responsible for her own choices and actions.
This is insane.
Of course, we are responsible for our own choices and actions. We are the ones making them ourselves, not someone else.
I never considered by football coaches angry, bitter, or in need of counseling for grading my performance on the football field and calling me out when I made errors. If I purposefully allowed a defensive lineman through to blindside the quarterback, I wouldn’t then blame the quarterback for my failure to do my job. That wouldn’t fly with my coaches.
Similarly, it does not fly here for people to blame faithful spouses for the infidelity committed against them.
God is going to hold each of us accountable for our choices and actions as Scripture teaches (see 2 Corinthians 5:10). Trying to blame someone else for those actions is not going to fly with Him, either!
It is not hateful to remind cheaters (and all of us, for that matter) of this spiritual truth. In fact, I would actually characterized it as “tough love” where I am giving them an opportunity to repent before it is too late–i.e. before they have to face God’s wrath over their willful sins.