NOT the Christian Answer to Who Is Responsible for Cheating!


For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad.

-I Corinthians 5:10, KJV

When caught in marital infidelity, the Christian response to such actions is not to claim the devil or one’s spouse made one do it.

The true Christian response to such sin is to fully own one’s actions (and repent).

Considering this verse from I Corinthians 5, spiritually diagnosing who is responsible for marital infidelity really is a simple task that will be done either on earth or–and probably more severely–in Heaven:

Was the Devil the one who committed adultery here? No.

Was it your spouse who committed adultery here? No.

Were you the one who commit adultery here? Yes.

We all ought to know that committing adultery is a very bad thing. God prohibits committing it explicitly in the Ten Commandments (see Exodus 20:14 for those needing a refresher).

Who will God hold responsible for doing this very bad thing–i.e. committing adultery–according to I Corinthians 5:10?

The person who did the deed.

Not their spouse.

Not the devil.

Not society.

The adulterous spouse will be held responsible–fully–for his or her sinful actions.

It really is that simple: The true Christian response is to hold the person taking the sinful action accountable for acting sinfully.

Any message that says otherwise is neither godly or Christian.

6 thoughts on “NOT the Christian Answer to Who Is Responsible for Cheating!”

  1. How did Infidelity become the one sin that is the shared sin? My cheating spouse is the boss of a person who allegedly embezzled $65,000.00+. He went on record saying how hurt he was that he couldn’t trust an employee and how betrayed he felt by her disloyalty…blah blah blah. But I’m sure if you ask him, ” why are you a cheater?” He would say a) I made him do it. Or b) his parents example made him do it.
    I would say now that he has seen the example of embezzling and can’t help but follow sinful examples he should change situations to not be tempted to embezzle. Because unlike adultery there is jail time attached to that sin.
    The other observation is that no one rallies around the embezzler like they do the cheater, and welcomes them into the fold. My take is money is more important than family in the churches these days.

    1. Apparently, it’s because it’s not illegal!
      I used to wonder why the sin of adultery was not against the man’s law like other sins such as stealing, perjury, and murder. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s because many of our lawmakers did not want to condemn themselves!
      If I remember John Edwards defense statement correctly, he admitted that he sinned against his dying wife; but he certainly did not break any laws while doing so! He remained mum while Mrs Edward’s character was brutally attacked as a result of his decision to comitt adultery. She was angry at God and still suffering from her husband’s betrayal and her character assassination when she died from cancer and a broken heart!

      1. In a way, I consider that to be God’s mercy. He was taking her out of a fallen world and bringing her home to heaven.

    2. No kidding! If a man hits a woman, it doesn’t matter if she was nagging. It doesn’t matter if she verbally abused him or “made him angry”. Many good men have been nagged, verbally abused or “made angry” by women and they would never think of hitting their wife. Therefore, the man is charged for his crime no matter how cruel his wife was to him. We understand as a society that domestic violence is never justified. Yet, how many times does society think infidelity is justified?

      The truth is that infidelity can leave behind physical scars as well. I will always have a hysterectomy scar from the hysterectomy that was necessitated by hpv. I was celibate when I found this out. My ex had been my only, so the hpv was obviously from him. Yet, my former mother-in-law, some counselors, the reconciliation industrial complex, etc. would blame me for my ex’s behavior. Luckily, I had good insurance, but I paid the copays/coinsurance for my hpv related surgeries and biopsies myself. My parents and church and friends have stood by me through my pain. God is a God that places the lonely in families. (Psalm 68:6)

  2. I wonder if Elizabeth Edwards died with a broken heart. By the time she passed, she seemed so strong, she was devastated by his infidelity, but it appeared she turned to God for comfort. She really, I thought, shone as an example of what to do – she basically kicked his unaceptable routine out of her life. Her epitaph reads “She stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her away, she adjusted her sails.” It doesn’t mean it was easy, but boy from afar, Elizabeth seemed to handle a messy debacle with pure class, born of grace God bestowed her. No one remembers her ex husband for anything other than committing adultery on the national stage. All of his “good works” prior to that, destroyed by his self indulgence. One thing I learned in my situation that I didn’t have to wish the father of my children ill. His bad choices would produce it for him, it is just a matter of time. Having Elizabeth as an example to be steadfast sure helped, though.

    1. I am so happy to hear that!! 🙂 The article I remember reading sounded like she had turned from God.

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