“Sure, I cheated. But that is not what killed our marriage. You…”
Is someone who shoots and kills a cancer patient less of a murderer because his victim had cancer?
Of course, not.
Generally speaking, we do not waste weeks and months trying to figure out what killed someone when they obviously bled out from a gunshot wound through the heart.
This is commonsense as it comes to natural death.
Yet that commonsense is less than common when it comes to marriages killed via adultery.
It seems pointless to me to debate about cancer treatments that might have saved the victim when we all know it was the bullet that did the killing.
Similarly, I find it fruitless to talk about what plagued the marriage–real or imagined–in a relationship autopsy when it is obvious that one partner shot the marriage through the heart by cheating.
That is not to say learning how to identify and treat “cancer” isn’t a worthy or worthwhile pursuit. Sure, we need to learn to treat cancer.
But, do not be deceived, that knowledge won’t save victims whose hearts have been blown out with bullets.
If the goal really is to save “lives”–i.e. marriages–then I suggest we need to learn how to prevent “shootings.”
Also, we need to stop wasting our time pretending the “cancer” killed the marriage when we all know the “bullet” named adultery made any cancer treatment futile and too late.