Thinking Critically: Is someone less culpable for murder if their victim has cancer?

“Sure, I cheated. But that is not what killed our marriage. You…”


Is someone who shoots and kills a cancer patient less of a murderer because his victim had cancer?

Of course, not.
Generally speaking, we do not waste weeks and months trying to figure out what killed someone when they obviously bled out from a gunshot wound through the heart.
This is commonsense as it comes to natural death.
Yet that commonsense is less than common when it comes to marriages killed via adultery.
It seems pointless to me to debate about cancer treatments that might have saved the victim when we all know it was the bullet that did the killing.
Similarly, I find it fruitless to talk about what plagued the marriage–real or imagined–in a relationship autopsy when it is obvious that one partner shot the marriage through the heart by cheating.
That is not to say learning how to identify and treat “cancer” isn’t a worthy or worthwhile pursuit. Sure, we need to learn to treat cancer.

But, do not be deceived, that knowledge won’t save victims whose hearts have been blown out with bullets.

If the goal really is to save “lives”–i.e. marriages–then I suggest we need to learn how to prevent “shootings.”
Also, we need to stop wasting our time pretending the “cancer” killed the marriage when we all know the “bullet” named adultery made any cancer treatment futile and too late. 

4 thoughts on “Thinking Critically: Is someone less culpable for murder if their victim has cancer?”

  1. So true!! Thanks for sharing these insights!! Too often the spouse in the adultery just attacks and blames the other so much that as well as the heart break and betrayal to heal from there is also the onslaught of hurtful words and behaviour etc as well to heal from too. ITs just so unjust to the faithful spouse. I especially like where you say in another article that the sinner is responsible for the sin not someone else (despite the condition of the marriage) – adultery is adultery and it is selfish and heartless!! THANK YOU!!

  2. It is a brilliant analogy. Adultery is a fatal shot to the center mass…no marriage can survive it. Everything else is just white noise.
    This is of tremendous help when we have those panicked “woulda shoulda coulda” moments, when doing a “marriage autospy”- pointless.

    I also think this is a life boat when we start analyzing the mental illnesses or character flaws of the cheater. Cluster B, sociopath, narcissist….it does not matter.

    Researching these conditions keeps the spotlight not the cheater. I think they cheated because they wanted to, they did not value the relationship and they did not care about the consequences. Once you actually understand that…..the desire to “post mortem” the marriage/relationship fades away.

    I compare it to going outside (today is Trash Day!) and combing through the contents of my recycle and trash buckets. Pointless, gross and only guaranteed to make me sick and waste me time.

    So, what would be a better use of our time, rather than falling down the rabbit hole of researching variations of sin?

    Philippians 4:8 New International Version (NIV)

    8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

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