…fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. – Hebrews 12:2, NIV
Why create the blog “Divorce Minister?”
Divorce Minister: Taking Adultery Seriously is a blog born of community need, personal experience, and supernatural calling. It is a place I wished had existed for me when I was going through the trials of the adulterous end to my first marriage. I needed more people in Christian leadership to cut through the Christian “crap” that was tormenting me while my marriage was ending through my ex-wife’s sinful choices. What I discovered in my own journey was many well-meaning evangelical voices feeding into a toxic spiritual environment and very few voices who in practice actually took adultery seriously.
This is one place where adultery will be taken seriously!
Elsewhere I have explained why I focus on the intersection of divorce and adultery here on the blog (see this post). This blog is not designed to cover all Biblical grounds for divorce even if I touch on other situations in a post here and there. It is not a comprehensive exegetical tool to dissect all of Scripture on divorce and remarriage. Plenty of excellent Biblical scholarly tomes exist on these matters with linguistic skills beyond my expertise. I recommend Divorce Care® as another resource that approaches the issue of divorce for Christians more broadly than on this blog.
This blog is primarily a pastoral blog written by a pastor who has specialized in spiritual and emotional care. I am trying to stick to my “wheel house” both professionally and personally–i.e. in regards to my experiences. My heart is to advocate for faithful spouses who need a pastor to help them navigate the religious hogwash storm that often follows infidelity discovery in the Christian community. It is my hope that this blog will also reach other pastors and Christian leaders interested in learning as well.
Because I have chosen to answer the call to this ministry, I have opened myself up to criticism. Divorce is the cross I bear as an evangelical minister. But I scorn it’s shame. I am not afraid to be counted as an adultery and divorce survivor. In fact, I revel in the glory God is bringing through being willing to bear this cross and expose my scars publicly.
It warms my heart to hear how the Holy Spirit is using this blog to touch lives drawing folks to Jesus and encouraging them when they needed it most. That is reward enough for me.
And as an encouragement to all who visit this blog, I want to tell you that the message is getting out to the world quite literally. This blog is a little under two months shy of its first year anniversary. In that short period of time, it has had over 80,000 views from over 110 countries worldwide! Literally thousands upon thousands of unique viewers are coming to this website to hear an evangelical pastor and his wife share a pastoral view on adultery, infidelity, and divorce.
You–faithful spouse–may feel alone in your dark valley, but I am here to tell you that you are not alone. People care about you.
We are not alone.
Far from it!
I will continue writing. And I hope the message here will bring healing to the Church universal. When we take adultery seriously, we open the door for spiritual healing for both victim and the perpetrator who is encouraged to respond to sin the way God demands–i.e. with true, humble repentance. And we engage in spiritual warfare against the deceits of the Evil One along with corrupted human flesh that is quick to use lies in the attempt to minimize, blameshift, “excuse,” and/or “justify” the evil that is adultery (see Deuteronomy 22:22).
Thank you for visiting!
May God bless you and strengthen you whether you are a helper or in the midst of your own marriage storm!