If a pastor or Christian leader is unprepared to confront an adulterous spouse, they ought to have the decency to not bother picking at what they think is wrong in the faithful spouse. Sin inquests into suffering faithful spouses are anything but loving. Such are cold approaches to an excruciating experience.
They offer judgment and condemnation when the rejected spouse needs acceptance and safety.
A minimal level of true care says the pastor or Christian leader are willing and see a need to confront the person emotionally disemboweling the faithful spouse by his/her adultery (and/or sinful abandonment).
Is that really too much to ask?!
What is actually astounding–if you think about it–is how some pastors and Christian leaders will shamelessly go after the faithful spouse. They will pressure the faithful spouse to forgive and offer condemnation regarding his/her progress in that endeavor if they detect anger–which happens to be a healthy and godly response to such sin, by the way. This happens all while the cheating spouse is known to continue to commit adultery and sinfully abandon the marriage.
I know for a fact this sad state of affairs happens in the church because I have been on the receiving end of it and have learned through my work here at Divorce Minister that I am not alone.
It is truly sickening.
And it is anything but “care” for the faithful spouse.
That is why I say emphatically: