Public Service Announcement: The marriage vow of “forsaking all others” excludes emotional affairs, too! I say this to emphasize the need to take emotional affairs seriously. When a spouse cares more about how a third party partner feels than their own spouse, they are breaking their sacred marriage vows. They have given their heart to … Continue reading “PSA: Emotional Affairs Are Excluded, Too!”
An “escape”
But a man who commits adultery has no sense; whoever does so destroys himself. -Proverbs 6:32, NIV An escape from reality Cheaters are people who choose a fantasy over reality. They pursue and develop deceitful relationships. Like anything built on lies, this escape is not to a good place. This is another reason faithful spouses cannot … Continue reading “An “escape””
Hold up, now!
“I cheated, but I’m fine now after talking with my individual therapist. We’re here to deal with what drove me to do that,” says manipulative Cheater. Hold up, now! This is the proper response to such a statement. A wise pastor ought to slow down the train and help point out cheating is NOT a … Continue reading “Hold up, now!”
Does Jesus draw a line in pursuing?
26 If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, 27 but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God. -Hebrews 10:26-27, NIV Christians are notorious for assuming the right course of action is pursuit when dealing with a cheater. … Continue reading “Does Jesus draw a line in pursuing?”
No rest for them
And again in the passage above he says, “They shall never enter my rest.” -Hebrews 4:5, NIV Some of the most miserable people are cheaters who are caught between their sinful passions and what they know is right. They lash out at the faithful spouse hoping to offload the discomfort of fighting this onerous battle. … Continue reading “No rest for them”
So many bad decisions!
For this command is a lamp, this teaching is a light, and correction and instruction are the way to life, keeping you from your neighbor’s wife, from the smooth talk of a wayward woman. -Proverbs 6:23-24, NIV So many bad decisions! The act of infidelity is often underplayed by cheaters and cheater apologists. They treat … Continue reading “So many bad decisions!”
She would never… but she did.
She would never… but she did. No one enjoys learning that they were wrong about someone in a horrible way. The sick feeling of learning that you’ve been played is not one I enjoy, at least. So many of us, faithful spouses, are all too familiar with that feeling, though. We were SO trusting. The … Continue reading “She would never… but she did.”
Not Judge-y Enough!
What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? -I Corinthians 5:12, NIV An excuse made for passivity in the face of an unrepentant cheater in church is how someone does not want to look “judge-y.” This is such shame-based thinking. As such, this leads to … Continue reading “Not Judge-y Enough!”
Critical Error: Bethel and Danny Silk
Suspended Bethel leader, Ben Armstrong, was the mentor and spiritual father to Sarah who lived with him and his family for a period of time. He touched her in inappropriate ways and without her consent (allegedly). When Sarah uncovered this inappropriate relationship to the leadership at Bethel, they treated her as an affair partner. Then … Continue reading “Critical Error: Bethel and Danny Silk”
Vicious Cheater Rage
You would think a cheater would be the happy one as they are selfishly indulging in illicit sex. Yet they seem to be the most onerous person in the world in interactions with their faithful partner. It is like the faithful partner offended them profoundly as opposed to the opposite as is true. I am … Continue reading “Vicious Cheater Rage”