Instead of shame and dishonor, you will enjoy a double share of honor. -Isaiah 61:7a, NLT Why would you choose to accept the lie-filled narrative from your cheater as your own narrative? Choose your own victory narrative! Remember: You are not the rejected spouse. RATHER, you are the FAITHFUL SPOUSE! You are not the morally … Continue reading “Your Victory Narrative”
Moment of slippage
Did you ever have your Cheater give you a moment of unintentional honesty? I call it a moment, because they did not follow that brief glimpse into reality with a full confession. However, for a moment, you caught a glimpse of what was or is really happening with them. Maybe they confessed to doing something … Continue reading “Moment of slippage”
Forbidden Fruit Fantasy
And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.” -Genesis 2:16-17, NIV I suspect many of our cheaters were addicted to the “high” … Continue reading “Forbidden Fruit Fantasy”
Not about you!
21 “For from within, out of a person’s heart, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, 22 adultery, greed, wickedness, deceit, lustful desires, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness. 23 All these vile things come from within; they are what defile you.” -Mark 7:21-23, NLT The cheating is NOT about you! This is what this Scripture reveals. We–faithful spouses–are not … Continue reading “Not about you!”
Older Maybe NOT Wiser Pastor
Let them alone: they be blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch. -Matthew 15:14, KJV I wish I could say an older pastor will be more discerning and wiser than a younger pastor on matters of adultery and divorce. But that would be a … Continue reading “Older Maybe NOT Wiser Pastor”
Viewed As
All who do evil hate the light and refuse to go near it for fear their sins will be exposed. -John 3:20, NLT Cheaters are often so worried about how they will be seen by others. They don’t want to be viewed as the “bad guy” in the marriage ending. So, they will present marriage … Continue reading “Viewed As”
The “Find Myself” Cheater
Wisdom shouts in the streets. She cries out in the public square. … They rejected my advice and paid no attention when I corrected them. -Proverbs 1:20, NLT The “Find Myself” Cheater This Cheater gives the “excuse” for their cheating as a heroic “find myself” quest. They are not leaving you because of you, but … Continue reading “The “Find Myself” Cheater”
To my dudes: Happy Father’s Day!
Today, we celebrate fathers. This includes men who are biological fathers, spiritual fathers, or step-fathers. We celebrate those men who have stepped up and been there calling out the gold in your children. Next to being married to Mrs. DM, this is my favorite role–dad to Munchkin. I feel God was recklessly generous to me … Continue reading “To my dudes: Happy Father’s Day!”
Cheater Generated Anxieties
One of the many difficulties of dealing with a cheater is how they induce panic and anxiety in us. I can remember feeling such panic and anxiety during each interaction with my cheater. Maybe it is just me?! But I doubt it. This fear and panic comes from all the nasty surprises one gets in … Continue reading “Cheater Generated Anxieties”
Toying with you
Cheaters seem to enjoy toying with their spouses. I remember this phase as such a hurtful time. In one moment, I had hope, and then the other it was shattered. It sucked. This is when having clear-eyed friends is so critical. Faithful spouses need the difficult truth in these moments so that they do not … Continue reading “Toying with you”