Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think…. -Ephesians 3:20a, KJV God is God. This means we are not. This is important to remember when suffering the awful injustices and losses of adultery discovery and divorce. Just because we cannot see a way forward does not … Continue reading “God is extravagantly good!”
Boasting about “saved marriages”
When pastors or Christian counselors boast of “saved marriages,” I am immediately skeptical. Usually, this means the couple did not divorce. It really says nothing about whether or not repentance took place on the part of the cheater. The spiritual health of the spouses is not really addressed or defined with such numbers. “Saving” a … Continue reading “Boasting about “saved marriages””
Signaling Selfishness Remains
As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his foolishness. -Proverbs 26:11, NLT I was watching a clip from a counselor lately on cheating and reconciliation. Sven Erlandson of Badass Counseling was the person I was specifically watching. He made this great point about cheaters whining about how long faithful spouses are … Continue reading “Signaling Selfishness Remains”
Divorce Grief
The obvious loss with the divorce is the end of the marriage. However, we all know this loss is merely the tip of the loss iceberg. If we relied upon our cheater’s income, we loose financial security. We all loose money and material things both to obtain a divorce plus to divide up the marriage … Continue reading “Divorce Grief”
Unhappy Excuse
“Why did you cheat?” asks faithful spouse. “You know I’ve been unhappy in our marriage for a while,” says Cheater. Unhappy Excuse Some cheaters may want to make you in charge of what only they can solve–i.e. their inner feelings. They make it sound like you have the power to control their happiness or misery. … Continue reading “Unhappy Excuse”
Understandably Stuck
I gave faithless Israel her certificate of divorce and sent her away because of all her adulteries. -Jeremiah 3:8, NIV Feeling stuck in staying in a marriage to a cheater is understandable when that cheater is the primary source of finances for your family. I get it. To a lesser degree, I understand how being the lower … Continue reading “Understandably Stuck”
Move on to supportive people
Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! -Isaiah 5:20, KJV Part of the injustice faithful spouses often experience is a less than supportive community of people. Sometimes, even confessing Christians will not accept what … Continue reading “Move on to supportive people”
Football Critical Error and Cheating
Years ago, I remember film sessions after practice or a game playing football. These sessions could be downright brutal. They were exercises in accepting responsibility. The coach would play the tape watching for each misstep or wrong assignment. He would then slow down the film and hit repeat when he caught you doing something you … Continue reading “Football Critical Error and Cheating”
Cheater-Speak: Not Why I’m Divorcing You!
“Yes, I slept with him. But that is not why I am divorcing you,” says remorseless Cheater. A cheater saying such a thing is a cheater who is desperate to control how people see them in the divorce. They understand that Christians may look upon them poorly once their adultery is known. So, they want … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: Not Why I’m Divorcing You!”
Fixation on faithful spouse reaction
“A friend of mine is a great example of someone who brought sin into his houseful of kids through his 40-year porn addiction and then had an encounter with God that empowered him to change. …His wife is still playing the role of the punisher, and his children are still distant, regardless of his change … Continue reading “Fixation on faithful spouse reaction”