Cheating sexually and financially sadly go hand and hand. Today’s post is simply a shout out to an article written by Chump Lady, Tracy Shorn, found in The Girlfriend from AARP. The article is entitled: “When Your Spouse Cheats On You — Financially.” This article shares a particularly horrifying experience where a cheater was literally … Continue reading “An excellent article about financial infidelity and cheating”
Category: Trauma of adultery
Dear DM, Is divorce okay in my situation?
Hi Pastor Dave (DM): I think I am doing the right thing in allowing or agreeing to my divorce. I have your book and have started reading through it. Maybe you touch on it later. So far the book is focusing mainly on affairs where there has been physical contact/adultery. Here is my situation: In … Continue reading “Dear DM, Is divorce okay in my situation?”
Justice and forgiveness
Trusting God with our hurts is hard. Forgiveness is about doing just that, though. It is allowing God be God in our situation. But forgiving our cheater is nearly impossible if we believe we care more about justice than God. Justice matters to God. He did not just give sin a pass. It isn’t … Continue reading “Justice and forgiveness”
Cheater-Speak: What’s wrong with having friends?!
“Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are really vicious wolves.” -Matthew 7:15, NLT “Aren’t I allowed to have ‘friends?!’” -Cheater I think this is one of the most dangerous tools at the disposal of cheaters. It effectively puts the faithful spouse on the defensive as he or she tries … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: What’s wrong with having friends?!”
Forgiveness does not erase natural consequences!
13 Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” Nathan replied, “The Lord has taken away your sin. You are not going to die. 14 But because by doing this you have shown utter contempt for the Lord, the son born to you will die.” -2 Samuel 12:13-14, NIV God forgave David for murder and adultery. It says so here. However, God … Continue reading “Forgiveness does not erase natural consequences!”
Dear Divorce Minister, How do I silence that toxic voice in my head?
Hi there, While I am nowhere near ready to begin dating again, I have been meeting new people and making new friends and I occasionally run into women who I find interesting or attractive in one way or another who I sorta mentally file away for later, when I feel ready. Unfortunately, a lot of … Continue reading “Dear Divorce Minister, How do I silence that toxic voice in my head?”
Hostage to Acknowledgement?
Are you waiting on an acknowledgment of wrongdoing by your cheater? I have some good and bad news on that front… First, I will share the bad news: You may never get an acknowledgment (and a full confession) of wrongdoing from your cheater. Some people are so disordered, cowardly, and/or wicked to do so. Waiting … Continue reading “Hostage to Acknowledgement?”
Mine! Mine! Mine! Cheater Toddler Mindset.
“‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh.” -Mark 10:7-8, NIV “Mine!” A Toddler’s Mindset In Marriage One of the oddest dynamics that I have seen over and again while dealing with … Continue reading “Mine! Mine! Mine! Cheater Toddler Mindset.”
Stop blaming yourself, faithful spouse!
“For from within, out of a person’s heart, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery….” -Mark 7:21-22a, NLT When infidelity and abandonment via divorce occur, the faithful spouse may struggle with blaming themselves. I know I did. It is part of the grief process. We are trying to control the uncontrollable. That means we take … Continue reading “Stop blaming yourself, faithful spouse!”
Subtle blame in churches
The one who sins is the one who will die. The child will not share the guilt of the parent, nor will the parent share the guilt of the child. Ezekiel 18:20a, NIV Sometimes church leaders subtly blame faithful spouses for a divorce from a cheater. I say that it is subtle because it almost … Continue reading “Subtle blame in churches”