I did not want to believe it. Who, in their right mind, would want to believe their spouse was secretly having sex with another?! This is important to note for faithful spouses. We are predisposed to disbelief. To believe even very concrete evidence of sexual infidelity means dealing with the reality that your world has … Continue reading “Biased NOT to Believe”
Category: Trauma of adultery
Not All Doom and Gloom
The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part. -Job 42:12a, NIV With all the fear-mongering that happens in evangelical Christian circles, one might think divorce dooms you to a life of misery. Or… I think this might be worse–it means you will always have a second-class marriage if you … Continue reading “Not All Doom and Gloom”
Thoughts for Cheaters
For the lips of the adulterous woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil; but in the end she is bitter as gall, sharp as a double-edged sword. -Proverbs 5:3-4, NIV So, a friend cheated. What do you do? What do you say to them? 1. Urge them to come COMPLETELY clean with … Continue reading “Thoughts for Cheaters”
Confessing Is NOT Causing
Don’t you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are … Continue reading “Confessing Is NOT Causing”
Word of a Proven Liar
The LORD detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy. -Proverbs 12:22, NIV A spouse cannot commit adultery without being a liar. They vowed to “forsake all others,” and they broke that vow. They lied. This is an important truth to keep in mind when dealing with a cheater. It is vital … Continue reading “Word of a Proven Liar”
PSA: Get Tested and Be Discerning!
One of the most humbling things that I was forced to do in light of my ex’s infidelity was to go to a clinic to be tested for STDs. It was humiliating. I was there due to my ex’s moral failures and lies. A medical professional advised me to get tested. I knew my spouse … Continue reading “PSA: Get Tested and Be Discerning!”
Divorce a “mentally ill” cheater?!
“…in sickness and in health….” -Traditional Marriage Vows “If a man is discovered committing adultery, both he and the woman must die. In this way, you will purge Israel of such evil.” -Deuteronomy 22:22, NLT ****DISCLAIMER: I am NOT a mental health provider. This post is NOT medical advice or diagnosis.*** What to do if … Continue reading “Divorce a “mentally ill” cheater?!”
On “Deadwood Friends”
But Jesus said, “Judas, would you betray the Son of Man with a kiss?” -Luke 22:48, NLT Some “friends” will “kiss” you with words-bespeaking of their love for you-while they further the cheater’s agenda of blame-shifting the infidelity and marriage’s demise upon you. It is confusing enough dealing with the lies and deceptions of a … Continue reading “On “Deadwood Friends””
Cannot Help Themselves
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV Even–maybe especially–when caught red-handed and finally acknowledging their infidelity, cheaters will STILL try to shift the attention onto the faithful spouse’s “deficiencies.” The majority of their confession is light … Continue reading “Cannot Help Themselves”
On Sin and Difficult Circumstances
“What have you done?” asked Samuel. Saul replied, “When I saw that the men were scattering, and that you did not come at the set time, and that the Philistines were assembling at Mikmash, I thought, ‘Now the Philistines will come down against me at Gilgal, and I have not sought the Lord’s favor.’ So … Continue reading “On Sin and Difficult Circumstances”