You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. -Matthew 7:5, NIV A blinding pride. This is what cheaters have. They are so caught up in entitlement that they do not see or care what damage they are doing … Continue reading “The false “victim mentality” of cheaters”
Category: Trauma of adultery
What if we made a list, too?!
And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins.” -I Peter 4:8, NKJV Cheaters are “good” at putting together a list of things that they do not like about their spouse. They are doing this to “justify” their infidelity and their abandonment of the marriage. The … Continue reading “What if we made a list, too?!”
Exposing accepted adultery and divorce “wisdom”
Don’t let anyone capture you with empty philosophies and high-sounding nonsense that come from human thinking and from the spiritual powers of this world, rather than from Christ. -Colossians 2:8, NLT So much advice or counsel in the church on adultery and divorce is “high-sounding nonsense” in my opinion. Most do not approach the topic … Continue reading “Exposing accepted adultery and divorce “wisdom””
Cannot be undone
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV When a spouse decides to commit adultery, the marriage is forever changed. What is done cannot be undone. I believe the natural state of such marriages is one of death. … Continue reading “Cannot be undone”
Treatment on fornication versus adultery in Evangelical-land
Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge. -Hebrews 13:4, NKJV I grew up in an evangelical church where I attended youth group in the 90s. “Purity culture” was big in those days for evangelical teens. As an adult, I realize some of my upbringing was not the most helpful. … Continue reading “Treatment on fornication versus adultery in Evangelical-land”
Why did I stay stuck so long?
Why was I stuck for so long? This is a good question to ask ourselves after a divorce from a cheater. Some people break free faster than others. That said, others take a long time coming to terms with their marriage’s end. I really struggled with the end of my marriage. Three things really kept … Continue reading “Why did I stay stuck so long?”
Religious behavior does not fool God
For day after day they seek me out; they seem eager to know my ways, as if they were a nation that does what is right and has not forsaken the commands of its God. -Isaiah 58:2, NIV Some cheaters excel at doing things that make them look like “good” Christians. That is part of the trauma … Continue reading “Religious behavior does not fool God”
Game Film and “Critical Errors” Applied to Cheaters
After a Saturday football game, my college coaches would take the game “film” and grade how each of us–athletes–performed in that contest. One category used in their film grading system was called “critical errors.” This label was reserved for mistakes so big that the mistake caused the play to fail. For an offensive lineman, a … Continue reading “Game Film and “Critical Errors” Applied to Cheaters”
Wanting it all back to “normal”
18 Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. 19 Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert. -Isaiah 43:18-19, KJV When the news broke for me, I remember driving … Continue reading “Wanting it all back to “normal””
Divorcing a cheater is NOT about revenge
And Joseph her husband, being a righteous man and not wanting to disgrace her, planned [to divorce her] secretly. -Matthew 1:19, NASB (footnoted alternate translation used in brackets) Do we consider a rape victim “hurt and vengeful” for choosing to have her rapist prosecuted for his crime? I wouldn’t. It is a matter of justice … Continue reading “Divorcing a cheater is NOT about revenge”