“I was afraid you would get angry. That is why I did not tell you [I was cheating on you].” -Cheater Isn’t it amazing how a cheater can my their lying your fault? Now, we know their lies are their lies. However, cheaters are adept at shifting blame. In this mind trick: The speaker is blaming their … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I thought you would get angry; so, I didn’t tell you…””
Category: Trauma of adultery
Eight years. Another divorce anniversary.
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: -Ecclesiastes 3:1, KJV Eight years ago to this day, I received a message informing me that my divorce was finalized. It was a “congratulations” that felt very inappropriate at the time. So much has changed since that day. I … Continue reading “Eight years. Another divorce anniversary.”
Will never face the damage
But when Pharaoh saw that there was relief, he hardened his heart and did not heed them, as the Lord had said. -Exodus 8:15, NKJV Some cheaters will never face the damage they created through their sins. This is a fact of life. God allows people to harden their hearts just as He allowed Pharaoh to do. Christians are … Continue reading “Will never face the damage”
Godliness over “intact homes”
The Idolatry of “Intact” Homes If a man is found sleeping with another man’s wife, both the man who slept with her and the woman must die. You must purge the evil from Israel. -Deuteronomy 22:22, NIV God did not prioritize keeping the marriage together over dealing with the evil of adultery in the Old … Continue reading “Godliness over “intact homes””
Keep your pity.
“I can tell you are still tender, healing.” -“Well-Meaning” Observer What bothers me the most about these sort of statements is how they are usually stated as a way to express compassion for the faithful spouse but really just communicate pity. Who enjoys being the object of pity?! Now, it is true that the infidelity … Continue reading “Keep your pity.”
What went wrong? Not that difficult to answer with adultery involved.
Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV Christians need not dig very deep to figure out what went wrong in a marriage when adultery occurred. Modern psychology and so called “Christian” counseling might disagree with me. However, I am very adamant that we do not treat adultery as a side issue to a marriage’s … Continue reading “What went wrong? Not that difficult to answer with adultery involved.”
Grief is a funny thing.
His family all tried to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. “I will go to my grave mourning for my son,” he would say, and then he would weep. -Genesis 37:35, NLT Even years after a divorce, grief can still surprise. That is how grief works. It ambushes. The heart has a way … Continue reading “Grief is a funny thing.”
Christian Leader, do not fall for the “wilting daisy” or “bruised reed” ploy!
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. – I Corinthians 13:11, NIV Let’s get something straight… A crushed “delicate flower” or a “bruised reed” does not have the energy … Continue reading “Christian Leader, do not fall for the “wilting daisy” or “bruised reed” ploy!”
“I don’t want to pick sides here!” says a Christian “friend”
“I don’t want to pick sides in this,” says a Christian “friend.” A person saying this is communicating to the adultery victim that they think something could justify their victimization. Let’s be clear: They ARE picking a side. It is the side of the adulterous spouse. This helps evil flourish. This is not a godly … Continue reading ““I don’t want to pick sides here!” says a Christian “friend””
Burning bridges is sometimes wisdom in action!
I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don’t even eat with such people. – I Corinthians 5:11, NLT Some bridges need burning! I am thinking of … Continue reading “Burning bridges is sometimes wisdom in action!”