Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye. -Matthew 7:5, KJV When pastors and counselors focus on the faithful spouse’s “faults,” they are minimizing the cheating and the seriousness of this sin. This is why … Continue reading “Practical Minimization: Focusing on Faithful Spouse “Faults””
Category: Cheating
NOT “friends” with ex and that is fine
How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? -2 Corinthians 6:14b, NLT Some Christians expect faithful spouses to remain “friends” with their cheating ex-partner following divorce. This is insane! The expectation is wound up in a twisted and perverted understanding of what forgiveness demands in this situation. Guess what? … Continue reading “NOT “friends” with ex and that is fine”
DM, How do I get past this?
Hello, Do you have any teachings on when the ex spouse who cheated marries the affair partner and then they start going to church and never repented or tried making amends to the spouse and children left behind. I’m struggling immensely trying to process how the ex and affair partner all the friends and the … Continue reading “DM, How do I get past this?”
“That’s not a friend.”
“That’s not a friend,” says Father Terry. My divorce was fresh. Maybe I was still in the separation period. I am not sure. What I remember is talking with a colleague and mentor, Father Terry, who shared some simply but profound wisdom. After telling him about a “friend” who had essentially called me a deadbeat … Continue reading ““That’s not a friend.””
Adultery equals “evil” per Bible!
“If a man is discovered committing adultery, both he and the woman must die. In this way, you will purge Israel of such evil.” -Deuteronomy 22:22, NLT What Christians need to understand is that adultery is truly evil! This is not “second fiddle” to divorce. Adultery is the main event in the evil performance. This … Continue reading “Adultery equals “evil” per Bible!”
Dear 30 Year Old Self…
Dear 30 Year Old Self, It is going to be alright. Really, it is. I know that seems unlikely right now. Your world has been blown apart and the future seems bleak. Trust me: It gets better, much better! The chaplaincy internship that you are doing today will lead to a bright future for you. It … Continue reading “Dear 30 Year Old Self…”
Too full of themselves
Do you see a man wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him. -Proverbs 26:12, NKJV Probably, the most spiritually deadly sin is arrogance. Cheaters are marked by oodles and oodles of pride and arrogance. It takes quite a bit of arrogance to cheat on your spouse and still think you … Continue reading “Too full of themselves”
Jesus was rejected, too!
O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not! -Matthew 23:37, KJV What did Jesus do that “made” Jerusalem reject him? Nothing. The point of this is to highlight … Continue reading “Jesus was rejected, too!”
Building a sand castle with the incoming tide
Infidelity is like the incoming tide to your sand castle marriage. It obliterates all the hard work done to create a beautiful relationship. It undermines everything. Then it washes it all away like it was never there. Such is marital infidelity. Whether the sand castle was already falling down or whether it was a “Taj … Continue reading “Building a sand castle with the incoming tide”
Let them be wrong and invest elsewhere
Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! -Isaiah 5:20, KJV Part of the injustice faithful spouses often experience is a less than supportive community of people. Sometimes, even confessing Christians will not accept what … Continue reading “Let them be wrong and invest elsewhere”