To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven…. -Ecclesiastes 3:1, NKJV Not every battle is worth fighting with a disordered individual. Not every bridge is worth maintaining. Some battles are best left alone. Some bridges are best burned. There is a season for everything. Many of us are not inclined to fight. … Continue reading “Choosing battles and bridges to burn”
Category: Cheating
A most reasonable expectation
“…let her therefore put away her whoredoms out of her sight, and her adulteries from between her breasts….” -Hosea 2:2b, KJV A Faithful Spouse’s Reasonable Expectation: The cheater ends the affair(s)–both physical and emotional varieties–and engages in actions demonstrating self-work on the character flaws that led the cheater to betray their partner. This expectation needs … Continue reading “A most reasonable expectation”
Funny how so many of us didn’t cheat!
Cheater apologists like to focus on the marriage conditions to let the cheater off the hook. The thing is that those conditions were endured by TWO people. However, only one of those two cheated. Same conditions–if the true cause–out to produce same outcomes. But they do not. It is not like we did not have … Continue reading “Funny how so many of us didn’t cheat!”
“Have you rebuked her?”
“Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him.” -Luke 17:3, NKJV “Did you rebuke her?” This question never came up in my ecclesiastical trial to retain my ministerial credentials.* They were quick to ask me about “forgiveness,” yet they did not ask this important question as far as … Continue reading ““Have you rebuked her?””
“I forgive you.”
“I forgive you.” Are these words always a good thing to hear? Are they always spoken as an expression of virtue or can they conceal venom? When you are dealing with a spiritually abusive individual, these are words they may use to continue the abuse. They are hijacking the concept of “forgiveness” to put you … Continue reading ““I forgive you.””
Why bother to blame?
“For I, the LORD, love justice. I hate robbery and wrongdoing. I will faithfully reward my people for their suffering and make an everlasting covenant with them.” -Isaiah 61:8, NLT When I was going through my ecclesiastical trial to keep my ministerial credentials, someone I trusted asked me why my former denomination was so fixated … Continue reading “Why bother to blame?”
Reverse victim “games” of cheaters
What is amazing is how cheaters can play the victim while they are actively abusing their own spouse via lying and cheating. The faithful spouse might spend a whole series of counseling sessions with a pastor and their cheater never knowing about the infidelity. These meetings turn into faithful spouse basing sessions. It is sick. … Continue reading “Reverse victim “games” of cheaters”
Divorce needs to be a real option!
And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also. -Jeremiah 3:8, KJV Oddly, pastors and Christian counselors have been known to make the faithful spouse … Continue reading “Divorce needs to be a real option!”
“Bad Christian” Sure…
“You’re a ‘bad Christian’ for not doing ….” -Cheater This shaming label used to make me jump to do my ex and others’ bidding. I did not want to be seen as a “bad Christian.” Then I wised up to the source. I stopped seeking that source’s approval and validation. Is an unrepentant adulteress really … Continue reading ““Bad Christian” Sure…”
A mismatch
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? -2 Corinthians 6:14, KJV Whether one is abandoned or cheated on or both, the reality for faithful spouses is as stark as this verse from 2 Corinthians paints it. Light cannot fellowship with … Continue reading “A mismatch”