Reality validation. This is gift others can give to a faithful spouse. Sometimes we need someone to tell us the simple but hard truth. The adultery happened. And–no–we are in no way responsible for the infidelity. It was wrong. No justification for the cheater cheating exists. I think these messages are especially important for the … Continue reading “Reality Validation. A Sane Voice.”
Category: Cheating
Shake the dust
“But if any place refuses to welcome you or listen to you, shake its dust from your feet as you leave to show that you have abandoned those people to their fate.” -Mark 6:11, NLT At some point, we need to let go of the need for an apology and reparations for the wrongs we … Continue reading “Shake the dust”
Manipulating Definitions
Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” -Genesis 3:1,NIV Cheaters may have their own “private definitions” of key ideas. It is all part of the edifice built to protect … Continue reading “Manipulating Definitions”
Already Special In Their Minds
“This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV Cheaters do not need reminders of their special-ness. They need reminders that they are accountable for their sinful behavior. A godly pastor will keep this in mind when dealing with a cheater. … Continue reading “Already Special In Their Minds”
No call
23 For this command is a lamp, this teaching is a light, and correction and instruction are the way to life, 24 keeping you from your neighbor’s wife, from the smooth talk of a wayward woman. -Proverbs 6:23-24, NIV I was furious! My divorce attorney advised me to NOT do anything rash when I revealed I had … Continue reading “No call”
Do NOT date while still married, please!
Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery. -Hebrews 13:4, NLT When I was dating after my divorce, I was somewhat surprised by how many people were dating still married. For me, those people were a hard pass. … Continue reading “Do NOT date while still married, please!”
Mailbag: What do you do with this?
Dear DM, What do you do with this? I came here tonight because I am desperate. As I get closer to God I realize that doesn’t guarantee an answer about what I am supposed to do. My husband acts as if we’re fine everything is fine but it’s almost INSANE. What is your problem, “why … Continue reading “Mailbag: What do you do with this?”
Help praying? Choose a song.
The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him. -Psalm 28:7, KJV When I was struggling with the end of my first marriage, I found songs helped me through the dark valley. They became my prayers. … Continue reading “Help praying? Choose a song.”
Helpful Resource Exposing Poor Responses To Affairs
If we hear someone murdered, we don’t say, “it could have been me.” If we hear someone robbed a bank, we don’t hear pastors say, “it could have been me.” But when it comes to cheating on your wife? Oh, yeah, that could have been me. -Sheila Wray Gregoire, “The Terrible Takes on Philip Yancey’s … Continue reading “Helpful Resource Exposing Poor Responses To Affairs”
Guilt, not shame
Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. -2 Corinthians 7:10, NIV When trying to determine real repentance, I recommend watching for a guilt-response as opposed to a shame-response from the cheater. What do I mean by a “guilt response” versus a “shame response?” A “guilt … Continue reading “Guilt, not shame”