Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV When a spouse decides to commit adultery, the marriage is forever changed. What is done cannot be undone. I believe the natural state of such marriages is one of death. … Continue reading “Cannot be undone”
Category: Cheating
Speak truth to shame
There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, But the tongue of the wise promotes health. -Proverbs 12:18, NKJV Stuck with serrated shame. This is how I describe that experience you get when someone finds your emotionally vulnerable place and shames you there. It might only be a word or two. However, the damage … Continue reading “Speak truth to shame”
Treatment on fornication versus adultery in Evangelical-land
Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge. -Hebrews 13:4, NKJV I grew up in an evangelical church where I attended youth group in the 90s. “Purity culture” was big in those days for evangelical teens. As an adult, I realize some of my upbringing was not the most helpful. … Continue reading “Treatment on fornication versus adultery in Evangelical-land”
Why did I stay stuck so long?
Why was I stuck for so long? This is a good question to ask ourselves after a divorce from a cheater. Some people break free faster than others. That said, others take a long time coming to terms with their marriage’s end. I really struggled with the end of my marriage. Three things really kept … Continue reading “Why did I stay stuck so long?”
Something “rash”
“Don’t do anything rash,” insists pastor to faithful spouse upon the cheating discovery. Now, I agree to some degree with this advice. The problem is how it is applied. What “rash” means here matters. Often times, the pastor saying this is trying to “save” the marriage. They say this to dissuade a faithful spouse from … Continue reading “Something “rash””
Oh, the self-righteous, religious pricks!
“And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? … Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye…” – Matthew 7:3, 5a, NLT When I was going through my trials, I had no shortage of religious people willing to “help” me see my “sin” or … Continue reading “Oh, the self-righteous, religious pricks!”
Religious behavior does not fool God
For day after day they seek me out; they seem eager to know my ways, as if they were a nation that does what is right and has not forsaken the commands of its God. -Isaiah 58:2, NIV Some cheaters excel at doing things that make them look like “good” Christians. That is part of the trauma … Continue reading “Religious behavior does not fool God”
Cheater-Speak: “I worked through my affair with my therapist already.”
“I cheated on you emotionally. But don’t worry. I already worked through it with my individual therapist.” -Cheater Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you. -Genesis 6:4b, NLT I wonder how many here have heard something like this from their cheater. The cheater has declared themselves “fixed” but are unwilling “to show … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I worked through my affair with my therapist already.””
Demonic response?
He shouted at the top of his voice, “What do you want with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? In God’s name don’t torture me!” -Mark 5:7, NIV I wonder if cheaters open the door to demons when they cheat. Certainly, dark forces are at work with infidelity. This is not to blame the demonic … Continue reading “Demonic response?”
Game Film and “Critical Errors” Applied to Cheaters
After a Saturday football game, my college coaches would take the game “film” and grade how each of us–athletes–performed in that contest. One category used in their film grading system was called “critical errors.” This label was reserved for mistakes so big that the mistake caused the play to fail. For an offensive lineman, a … Continue reading “Game Film and “Critical Errors” Applied to Cheaters”