“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean.” -Matthew 23:27, NIV Few things are more hypocritical than committing adultery while maintaining one is a “good Christian.” … Continue reading “Cheaters and their precious image”
Category: Cheating
Yesterday would have been our 17th anniversary.
Seventeen years ago, yesterday, I married my cheater. I feel like I am a completely different person than that young man back then. It is odd viewing oneself with such a long time having passed. I do not feel so much grief as I used to on this date. It is mostly just another day … Continue reading “Yesterday would have been our 17th anniversary.”
Blaming Behavior of “Friends”
Hide me from the plots of this evil mob, from this gang of wrongdoers. They sharpen their tongues like swords and aim their bitter words like arrows. They shoot from ambush at the innocent, attacking suddenly and fearlessly. -Psalm 64:2-4, NLT “She never did anything to you that you weren’t already doing in the marriage. … Continue reading “Blaming Behavior of “Friends””
Stay strong and do not repeat my mistake!
The Other Man was discovered. I wrote a letter to my (then) wife letting her know I would not tolerate her cheating anymore. She could either choose to work to prove to me that her cheating days were over, or she could expect me to terminate my relationship–friendship included–with her permanently. Obviously, she chose the … Continue reading “Stay strong and do not repeat my mistake!”
“Model Divorced” Expectations
“Yes, we are divorced. But we’re friends. I understand I made mistakes, too, in our marriage.” – “Model” Divorcee If you do get divorced, I sense this is what people–maybe Christians especially–want to hear. They want a nice narrative where they do not have to pick sides. Maybe some divorcees can become friends with each other after the … Continue reading ““Model Divorced” Expectations”
Choosing to not dwell on troubling thoughts
Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. -John 14:27, KJV “Let NOT your heart be troubled…” (Emphasis mine) This is a command from Jesus. A command that implies we have a … Continue reading “Choosing to not dwell on troubling thoughts”
Real friends
A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need. -Proverbs 17:17, NLT One of the hardest parts of infidelity discovery is how that impacts your relationships. You lose some people out of the whole disaster. The tricky thing is discerning which relationships are over and which to keep … Continue reading “Real friends”
Calculating power dynamics
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. -I Corinthians 13:4-5, NIV “You would just hold this over my head for the rest of our marriage if I stayed,” … Continue reading “Calculating power dynamics”
Just because they say something…
Public Service Announcement: Just because a cheater says so… …does not make it so! Remember that you are hearing words coming from a proven liar. That is what all cheaters are: Proven Liars. When they say things about you and your marriage, you have to discount that with this fact about their deficient character. They … Continue reading “Just because they say something…”
Your parents or in-laws should NOT call the shots!
And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.” -Matthew 19:5-6, NLT A parent (or in-law) inserting themselves into the marriage … Continue reading “Your parents or in-laws should NOT call the shots!”