Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay,” saith the Lord. -Romans 12:19, KJV I find this verse instructive as it comes to forgiving cheaters. First, it tells us to release to God our fantasies of taking revenge on our abusers. Many … Continue reading “The verse does not say…”
Category: Emotional Affair
Pro-Tip: She’s cheating if she considers his opinion is more important than yours.
He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church…. –Ephesians 5:28b-29, NIV PRO TIP: If another dude’s feelings are more important to your wife than yours, then that is a clear signal that your … Continue reading “Pro-Tip: She’s cheating if she considers his opinion is more important than yours.”
It burns.
The demons begged Jesus, “Send us among the pigs; allow us to go into them [pigs].” -Mark 5:12, NIV Cheaters often do not want to face the truth. Confronted with the truth about how evil their behavior is, some choose to run away or blame the faithful spouse. The truth burns. A cheater who has … Continue reading “It burns.”
Real love means making choices.
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” -John 13:34, NIV Jesus is not commanding our feelings. That would not make sense. Our emotions just are. A command implies a choice to do or not to do something. That means we have a choice–i.e. … Continue reading “Real love means making choices.”
When pastors and “Christian” counselors cheat…
For the land is full of adultery,and it lies under a curse.The land itself is in mourning—its wilderness pastures are dried up.For they all do eviland abuse what power they have. -Jeremiah 23:10,NLT When the cheater is a pastor or “Christian” counselor, it brings another layer of evil to the matter, in my opinion. Both … Continue reading “When pastors and “Christian” counselors cheat…”
Cheaters just assume…
“Please pay no attention, my lord, to that wicked man Nabal. He is just like his name—his name means Fool, and folly goes with him.” -I Samuel 25:25a, NIV Cheaters just assume. They assume that you will roll over and do their bidding. Cheaters do not think we have a backbone…probably because we have allowed … Continue reading “Cheaters just assume…”
PSA: If they’re blaming, then cheaters aren’t there to rebuild the marriage.
And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?” The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” -Genesis 3:11-12, NIV Just because a cheater goes to couple’s therapy … Continue reading “PSA: If they’re blaming, then cheaters aren’t there to rebuild the marriage.”
Stop digging up those old “bones.”
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!” -Isaiah 43:18-19a, NIV Sometimes ruminating on the past just inflicts more suffering. Not doing this is easier said than done, of course. We do need space to tell our stories plus acknowledge what happened actually happened. That is … Continue reading “Stop digging up those old “bones.””
Dangerously, dumb advice
“Why don’t you both take a break from each other?” -Clueless Counselor This is one of the dumbest pieces of advice given to a couple dealing with infidelity. The problems of an infidelity ravaged marriage are not solved by creating more distance and less accountability for the cheater. Both are the last things needed, actually. A break is … Continue reading “Dangerously, dumb advice”
Unfinished Cheater Business
23 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” -Matthew 5:23-24, NIV When a cheater divorces and goes on to remarry, … Continue reading “Unfinished Cheater Business”