“Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.” -Luke 7:47, NIV Did anyone here have a cheater (or cheater defender) who was dismissive of your offer–as the victim of the adultery–to forgive? This verse attributed to Jesus comes to mind … Continue reading “Loves little.”
Category: Emotional Affair
What a decade! Happy New Year!!!
What a decade the 2010’s were for me! I never would have scripted these years for me in the way they went down. However, I am grateful for the ending days of that decade. At the start, I was still finishing up my seminary education at Yale while married to my cheater. The next couple … Continue reading “What a decade! Happy New Year!!!”
Chapman on third party not being the cause….
“First, realize that the third person is never the full reason for separation. In fact, Guidepost 4 says that marital difficulty is caused by the marriage partners, not by someone outside the marriage….Your failures and those of your spouse brought about the crisis in your marriage.” -ONE MORE TRY by Gary Chapman, pp31-32. Oddly, I … Continue reading “Chapman on third party not being the cause….”
Over that line, big time!
Have you ever done a “mind map?” As I remember them from grade school, this is a brainstorming tool where one has a main idea in a bubble then related ideas connected to that bubble to form a web like picture. I know of a situation involving a cheater who utilized this tool to figure … Continue reading “Over that line, big time!”
The question of Hell.
The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. -2 Peter 3:9, NIV While this verse is more about Christ’s second coming, I figure it is a good verse to talk about end things in general. … Continue reading “The question of Hell.”
Settled in truth and reality
When I was in the heat of my marriage dissolution, I remember constantly being thrown off by the email responses I received from my (now) ex-wife. They would make me particularly upset when she continued to insist on pinning the fault for the marriage ending on me. Looking back now, I can see how out … Continue reading “Settled in truth and reality”
Adulteress: “I am not divorcing you because of him [Other Man].”
“I am not divorcing you because of him [Other Man].” -Adulteress Busted. And then the cheater busts out this mind messing statement. What is the cheater doing by making such a statement? They are doing several things. All them are bad, of course. In general, it is a particularly heinous thing for a cheater to say after … Continue reading “Adulteress: “I am not divorcing you because of him [Other Man].””
Two to Tango? Really?!
Random Christian: Sure, she cheated on you. But you know, it takes two to tango. DM: That only applies if you have two willing and able dance partners. She clearly is not willing and possibly not even able to “tango” with me. The “It takes two to tango” line is a subtle blame-shift upon faithful … Continue reading “Two to Tango? Really?!”
Narrative control as abuse
Cheaters often are very insistent about controlling the narrative on what happened to end the marriage. Some think that they are entitled to avoid the natural consequences that come with doing something very, very bad. You know, the sort of consequences that people tend to trust and esteem you less knowing how you treacherously betrayed your (former) … Continue reading “Narrative control as abuse”
Cheaters are master manipulators.
Test all things; hold fast what is good. -I Thessalonians 5:21, NKJV A master manipulator knows how to take a potential weakness and work it into a strength. They know how to leverage a situation. Cheaters are master manipulators, IMO. The speed at which a cheater can turn a confession of infidelity into a discussion … Continue reading “Cheaters are master manipulators.”