Did you ever feel like the big, bad parent with your cheater? I think sometimes some engage in cheating behavior as a way to try and resolve family issues (non-therapist speaking here). They did not feel safe to do that with their mother or father. So, the faithful spouse gets all their rebellion in its … Continue reading “Like a rebelling teenager or toddler!”
Category: Emotional Affair
Divorcing a personality disordered cheater
What do you do if your cheater is narcissist and committed making the divorce full of drama? I think it goes back to remembering what you control: YOU. This means you can choose whether to take their disordered bait or to let the circus go on without you. The best response sometimes is no response … Continue reading “Divorcing a personality disordered cheater”
Tip of the “Cheating Iceberg” is enough!
When dealing with a cheater who has lived a double life for months (or years), sometimes the iceberg is a huge one. You may only know a very little of what the cheater actually did. That was enough to sink the marriage. Sometimes, I believe, God spares us the pain of learning all the cheating details. He … Continue reading “Tip of the “Cheating Iceberg” is enough!”
You were chosen, wanted.
“Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me. You didn’t choose me. I chose you.” -John 15:15b-16a, NLT I think one of the most endearing part of owning a dog (or parrot, in my case) is how they demonstrate how much they choose and want you! In this, they are … Continue reading “You were chosen, wanted.”
Cheater Contempt
Here is the deceptive way of the adulterous woman: she takes what she wants and then says, “I’ve done nothing wrong.” -Proverbs 30:20, TPT While I believe we can all learn from our mistakes and sins in a relationship, I caution against the counsel to own our marriage sins with a cheater in active infidelity. … Continue reading “Cheater Contempt”
Beware of the partial truths…aka LIES!
One day he [the serpent] asked the woman, “Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?” Genesis 3:1b, NLT Partial truth lies are the most dangerous. We see the example of this here in the story of how humans sinned and fell from grace. The … Continue reading “Beware of the partial truths…aka LIES!”
Religious cheaters are the worst!
“If someone says, ‘I love God,’ but hates a fellow believer, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see?” -I John 4:20, NLT Religious cheaters are the worst. It is bad enough dealing with a cheater. A religious cheater … Continue reading “Religious cheaters are the worst!”
Darkness tests our faith in the Light
And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. -Hebrews 11:6, NIV When our worlds are blown up and we feel like all is darkness, we are faced with a choice: Do I believe the Light … Continue reading “Darkness tests our faith in the Light”
Cheaters and their God-sized problem
Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge. -Psalm 51:4, NIV You cry out, “Why doesn’t the LORD accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the LORD witnessed the vows you and your wife made … Continue reading “Cheaters and their God-sized problem”
Dear DM, This sucks.
Dear Divorce Minister, Five years later, and I’m still numb or in an fog or angry/depressed. I was pregnant with our third child when my husband met a woman on an online game. The gist of it is that she started out “fun and flirty” and then they proceeded to talk about more deep stuff. … Continue reading “Dear DM, This sucks.”