“I’m afraid of him,” she–aka the cheater–says. This like a blank check that a female cheater can cash in at anytime for sympathy and support from pastors and therapists alike. Most do not bother to ask any followup questions as to why she is claiming such fear. If they do, they might get: “I’m afraid, because … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I’m afraid of him.””
Category: Emotional Affair
On expectations to be the “model” divorced spouse
“’I am innocent, but it makes no difference to me— I despise my life. Innocent or wicked, it is all the same to God. That’s why I say, ‘He destroys both the blameless and the wicked.’” -Job 9:21-22, NLT Ever noticed the pressure among Christians to talk about “our part” when our marriages end in divorce–even … Continue reading “On expectations to be the “model” divorced spouse”
Haughty, naughty cheaters
As the Scriptures say, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” -James 4:6b, NLT The spiritually fatal flaw of cheaters is their pride. They behave as if they know better than everyone, including God. Such individuals are beyond hope until they are humbled. Humility is essential for godliness. A cheater bereft of … Continue reading “Haughty, naughty cheaters”
What Ephesians 5:24 does NOT say about submissive wives!
Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. -Ephesians 5:24, NIV What Ephesians 5:24 does NOT say! I did a post on a verse used against husbands (see here). This one is for the ladies–i.e. the faithful wives. Notice this verse and surrounding passage NEVER mentions divorce. Not … Continue reading “What Ephesians 5:24 does NOT say about submissive wives!”
Words empty of their real meaning
Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! – Isaiah 5:20, KJV Private Definitions of Cheaters I can remember my undergraduate philosophy professor telling us on multiple occasions how to deal with difficult argument situations. … Continue reading “Words empty of their real meaning”
Disbelief of others
For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open. -Luke 8:17, NIV Discovering infidelity is disorienting. What a faithful spouse needs are clear heads. What a faithful spouse does NOT need is someone feeding their disbelief over the cheating. An … Continue reading “Disbelief of others”
Validation. It is a precious gift!
Whether it is validation through evidence or validation from another human being who sees the real injustice and names it as such, validation is a precious gift. I truly believe such validation is necessary for healing from adultery and abandonment. We need to be seen. Our pain needs to matter to someone, which includes ourselves. … Continue reading “Validation. It is a precious gift!”
The sin of silence
Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. -Ephesians 5:11, NIV If you know something, say something. It is that simple. We are commanded to expose the “deeds of darkness,” NOT to keep them hidden. Adultery definitely qualifies as such a dark deed. Imagine learning a “friend” knew for … Continue reading “The sin of silence”
You get to CHOOSE your victory narrative!
Instead of shame and dishonor, you will enjoy a double share of honor. -Isaiah 61:7a, NLT Why would you choose to accept the lie-filled narrative from your cheater as your own narrative? Choose your own victory narrative! Remember: You are not the rejected spouse. RATHER, you are the FAITHFUL SPOUSE! You are not the morally … Continue reading “You get to CHOOSE your victory narrative!”
Selecting a Pastor: I wish I could say…
Let them alone: they be blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch. -Matthew 15:14, KJV I wish I could say an older pastor will be more discerning and wiser than a younger pastor on matters of adultery and divorce. But that would be a … Continue reading “Selecting a Pastor: I wish I could say…”