Today would have been our fifteenth wedding anniversary. The odd thing about grief is that it does not simply go away. It has a tendency to remind us of what was lost on anniversaries as if the spiritual fabric of our souls has scarred but never forgotten the wound. My anger over the injustices is … Continue reading “Would have been 15 years today…”
Category: Emotional Affair
Disturbed people only see it as leverage
The wicked flee though no one pursues…. -Proverbs 28:1a, NIV Disturbed people only see a history of cheating as leverage in a marriage. They could care less how the cheating has damaged and harmed the faithful spouse. The bigger problem for them is that they fear the faithful spouse “forever” holding it “over the head” … Continue reading “Disturbed people only see it as leverage”
Sadness remains
Grief lingers on long after forgiveness has put anger to bed. This is my experience now years removed from my divorce from a cheater. The anger is long gone. Yet I find myself feeling sad as I think of what was lost, tragically. I say tragically as it never had to happen. Yet God allows … Continue reading “Sadness remains”
PSA: They did NOT “have to” cheat on you! No matter what.
Public Service Announcement (PSA): They did NOT have to cheat on you! No matter what. They chose sin over godliness, and that is on them. Personally, I think this is the most tragic thing about marital infidelity. It is also one of the oldest of lies. The cheater did not have to go down … Continue reading “PSA: They did NOT “have to” cheat on you! No matter what.”
Evil toying cheaters
Some cheaters are acutely aware of the power they have over the faithful spouse. They understand that divorcing their spouse will mean the professional destruction of the faithful spouse. Plus, they may know that the faithful spouse is highly committed to working through even infidelity. With this knowledge, they toy with the faithful spouse taking … Continue reading “Evil toying cheaters”
I care about you, but not enough to…
The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. -Proverbs 12:18, NIV I care about you BUT not enough… …to end my friendship with the adulterous spouse until she repents. My thoughts: “Sorry, your concern for me sounds skin deep. Scripture is clear that a person who … Continue reading “I care about you, but not enough to…”
Not a kiss, but rather a final hug.
“Goodbye in her eyes” by Zac Brown Band It wasn’t a kiss. It was a hug. We had just finished our dentist appointments. She had forgotten that she had made joint appointments. I had already confronted her about the Other Man about two weeks prior. She was still lying about him and still denying adultery. … Continue reading “Not a kiss, but rather a final hug.”
Cheater-Speak: “You weren’t doing enough.”
“You weren’t pulling your weight in this family. So, I was all alone and overwhelmed with everything. That’s why I cheated,” says Cheater. The poor overwhelmed cheater was able to make space in her calendar to lie, steal, and risk the physical well-being of their spouse. Such a cheater is trying to illicit pity in … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “You weren’t doing enough.””
Yes, they DO get more vicious while cheating!
They demonstrate that God’s law is written in their hearts, for their own conscience and thoughts either accuse them or tell them they are doing right. -Romans 2:15, NLT Sometimes cheaters become crueler to their spouses when they are actively engaged in infidelity. They cheat and attend couples counseling where they tell the counselor or … Continue reading “Yes, they DO get more vicious while cheating!”
God knows “just the right time”
You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. -Romans 5:6, NIV “At just the right time” I think we are conditioned as a species to think the “right time” is when we are able to “save ourselves.” We think that is when a partnership with God is appropriate. … Continue reading “God knows “just the right time””