The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. -Proverbs 12:18, NIV We hear stories in the news of bullies pushing people to kill themselves. It is truly awful. (By the way, please call 911 or reach out for emergency medical assistance if you are seriously considering suicide. The … Continue reading “Cheaters as real bullies”
Category: Emotional Affair
DM, How did you move forward into a new relationship with Mrs. DM?
Hi DM, Question for you. How were you able to move forward with Mrs. DM with regards to trust? I am most likely getting divorced and am afraid that I would carry the scars of my WH’s serial infidelity/dishonesty into the next relationship (if I were to be brave enough to try to love again). … Continue reading “DM, How did you move forward into a new relationship with Mrs. DM?”
Being an adultery victim AND …
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. -2 Timothy 1:7, KJV While adultery victims are not less than victims of their cheaters, they are also more. They are FAITHFUL SPOUSES! SURVIVORS. Just because we have been cheated upon does not mean … Continue reading “Being an adultery victim AND …”
The destructive case of the “what if’s”
“What if what the cheater is saying about me is true?!” -frets the faithful spouse This is a destructive “What if?” Faithful spouses stuck in this “What if?” are in real danger of spiritual and emotional destruction. They are allowing the daggers of cheater lies dig deeper into their heart. My encouragement is to remember … Continue reading “The destructive case of the “what if’s””
Cheaters weaponizing “friends”
For I have heard the slander of many: fear was on every side: while they took counsel together against me, they devised to take away my life. -Psalm 31:13, KJV Some cheaters are especially skillful manipulators. They can keep up a double life for months if not years! While living these lies, they suck others … Continue reading “Cheaters weaponizing “friends””
Accusations of image manipulations
Cheaters sometimes accuse faithful spouses of their own (hidden) behavior. A common one I have heard is the cheater accusing the faithful spouse of cheating! This happens while they are actually the ones cheating. It is crazy! As this post suggests, a cheater might accuse the faithful spouse of duping their family and close friends while … Continue reading “Accusations of image manipulations”
If only half the energy used to condemn divorcees were redirected to condemn adultery….
Notice how some Christians feel completely free to share condemning opinions about divorce with faithful spouses but suddenly become silent regarding adultery with cheaters? It is so odd. The same people who wouldn’t DARE confront your cheater over her infidelity are the same crowd probing or condemning you for choosing divorce. They behave as if “Thou … Continue reading “If only half the energy used to condemn divorcees were redirected to condemn adultery….”
Yes, FOO issues probably need work, but…
Yes, Family of Origin (FOO) issues probably need work in the cheater, but… …those issues NEVER excuse cheating! I have little doubt most cheaters have skeletons in their family closets. They likely have secrets and traumas left unaddressed. None of those are excuses for cheating. Being sinned against does not give us permission to sin. … Continue reading “Yes, FOO issues probably need work, but…”
DM’s take on the ethics of AAMFT
Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV Divorce Minister’s Take On the Ethics of AAMFT For those who are unfamiliar, the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) is a–if not THE— major professional association for marriage therapists in the United States. You can read their ethics statement by clicking (here). Today’s post … Continue reading “DM’s take on the ethics of AAMFT”
She said she would never….
She said she would would never cheat on me. No matter how difficult the marriage became, we were (supposedly) committed to each other. Cheating was not on the table. You see this is what makes infidelity so hard to believe. Cheating flies in the face of explicit promises made by the faithful spouse–husband or wife. … Continue reading “She said she would never….”