Cheater-speak: “Oh well, we are all sinners after all.”

“Oh well, we are all sinners after all.” -Cheater This lame religious excuse may be heard coming from the adulterous spouse and/or other Christian “apologists” seeking “neutral” ground in this situation. While it sounds wise and caring, it is really an extremely poor application of Biblical truth to the situation. Can you imagine accepting this … Continue reading “Cheater-speak: “Oh well, we are all sinners after all.””

Freeing and Punishing Truth

“But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” -Matthew 12:36-37, NIV When reconstructing one’s narrative, truth can be both freeing and punishing. It is … Continue reading “Freeing and Punishing Truth”

Faithful Spouses no less forgiving than Jesus…

“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you…. and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”  -Jesus in Matthew 18:15a, 17b, NIV Was Jesus being “unforgiving” to demand the offender listen to their victim?   Christians … Continue reading “Faithful Spouses no less forgiving than Jesus…”

Lock the doors, grieve the loss, and don’t be a jerk!

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit.”  -Psalm 34:18, NASB   Metaphors, while being imperfect approximations, often can help us grasp difficult and complex truths conveying both intellectual and emotional freight with vivid imagery. Here’s my shot on explaining by metaphor why focusing on forgiveness first after adultery is cruel: Imagine … Continue reading “Lock the doors, grieve the loss, and don’t be a jerk!”

Cheater-speak: “God forgives me. So, what’s your problem?!”

Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. -Matthew 5:23-24, NKJV “God forgives me. So what’s your problem?!” -Cheater Does … Continue reading “Cheater-speak: “God forgives me. So, what’s your problem?!””

Broken Vase Illustration

Another thing you do: You flood the Lord’s altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer looks with favor on your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. You ask, “Why?” It is because the Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been … Continue reading “Broken Vase Illustration”

Price for “Support”

Hate evil and love what is good;     turn your courts into true halls of justice. Perhaps even yet the Lord God of Heaven’s Armies     will have mercy on the remnant of his people. -Amos 5:15, NLT Divorce Minister: Taking Adultery Seriously is an online community where I do not blame the victims of adultery. Too often, I … Continue reading “Price for “Support””

Helping The Broken-Hearted Betrayed Spouse

A Christian brother comes over one night. He crumples onto your couch tears overflowing. Through his heaving sobs, you learn his wife has left him and is having sex with another man. The hollow and desperate look in his eyes tears at your heart. What can you do? I will start with the negative first. These dangerous responses … Continue reading “Helping The Broken-Hearted Betrayed Spouse”

Where are the personal responsibility people when it comes to cheaters?!

Where are all the personal responsibility preachers when it comes to talking to cheaters?! -Much is made of the faithful spouse taking personal responsibility for “their part” in the divorce. -Much is made of the faithful spouse taking personal responsibility to forgive their cheater. (In fact, they feel compelled to “speak into” the faithful spouse’s … Continue reading “Where are the personal responsibility people when it comes to cheaters?!”

Grateful for Brave Other Faithful Spouses

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. -2 Corinthians 1:3-4, NIV I am grateful for faithful spouses who opened … Continue reading “Grateful for Brave Other Faithful Spouses”