“If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive.” -Luke 17:3b, NLT Rebuke, repentance, THEN AND ONLY THEN, forgiveness is to be offered. This is the order Jesus Himself gave us for godly forgiveness. However, this is usually NOT the order presented to faithful spouses or Christians in other traumatic situations. … Continue reading “My frustration with some “Christian” mental health providers”
Category: Grief
Those dang old memories…
Grief comes in waves. It ambushes you sometimes from nowhere. I was collecting pictures for an old friend who knew me in my previously married state. In fact, he was the best man at that wedding–i.e. the wedding where I married my cheater. So, it is not surprising the review of those photos brought back … Continue reading “Those dang old memories…”
Not a kiss, but rather a final hug.
“Goodbye in her eyes” by Zac Brown Band It wasn’t a kiss. It was a hug. We had just finished our dentist appointments. She had forgotten that she had made joint appointments. I had already confronted her about the Other Man about two weeks prior. She was still lying about him and still denying adultery. … Continue reading “Not a kiss, but rather a final hug.”
Validation. It is a precious gift!
Whether it is validation through evidence or validation from another human being who sees the real injustice and names it as such, validation is a precious gift. I truly believe such validation is necessary for healing from adultery and abandonment. We need to be seen. Our pain needs to matter to someone, which includes ourselves. … Continue reading “Validation. It is a precious gift!”
Grief and reunions
I wrote this a few years ago reflecting on a college reunion. Today, I thankfully feel less entwined with those contrasting feelings since I have been back to the city of my alma mater a few more times with Mrs. DM. Obviously, a version of this post ran previously. This weekend happens to … Continue reading “Grief and reunions”
Ripples felt years later
Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. -Proverbs 27:6, KJV People who have not lived the experience might not understand the incredible devastation cheating inflicts on faithful spouses. Years can pass and the losses can come up in a micro-second. A song plays. A Facebook post is … Continue reading “Ripples felt years later”
God is not blind to the injustices you are suffering!
9 The Lord is a shelter for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. 10 Those who know your name trust in you, for you, O Lord, do not abandon those who search for you. -Psalm 9:9-10, NLT Part of the struggle following infidelity discovery is how the injustice sometimes feels unseen or devalued by outsiders. Faithful spouses are … Continue reading “God is not blind to the injustices you are suffering!”
What just happened?!
What just happened? You thought your spouse would never cheat on you. That was until you were faced with indisputable evidence to the contrary. It is a sucker punch to the gut. I think infidelity discovery is one the most disorienting experiences a human can have. The betrayal is soul deep. Depending on how long … Continue reading “What just happened?!”
Oh, the stress!
My tears have been my food day and night, While they continually say to me, “Where is your God?” -Psalm 42:3, NKJV I remember going through a phase during my separation and divorce where I had to consciously remind myself to eat. The trauma from discovering the Other Man resulted in a twenty pound weight … Continue reading “Oh, the stress!”
The pain of the discard
He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.- -Isaiah 53:3, NIV The divorce discard is painful. Some cheaters cling to their marriage, and other cheaters complete the rejection by filing for divorce. … Continue reading “The pain of the discard”