Category: Grief

Any pastor teaching empathy as sinful is waving a major red flag!

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. -John 1:14, NIV Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep. -Romans 12:15, KJV Recently, empathy has encountered push back in … Continue reading “Any pastor teaching empathy as sinful is waving a major red flag!”

A resource on narcissists by Dr. Les Carter

One of the biggest things I learned through my divorce was how we walk in a world with people who lack empathy on a pathological level. They lie without remorse. Psychology labels them with a variety of labels (I am not a psychologist). Today, I just want to pass along a resource for those who … Continue reading “A resource on narcissists by Dr. Les Carter”

Real, good friends suffer with you.

“Let Me Show You the Way” is an old but favorite song from Michael W. Smith. He really captures the heart of true friendship.  This song by MWS speaks to what I believe is a human longing. It is a longing for a good friend who loves at a deep, heart-level. These are the friends … Continue reading “Real, good friends suffer with you.”

Would have been 15 years today…

Today would have been our fifteenth wedding anniversary. The odd thing about grief is that it does not simply go away. It has a tendency to remind us of what was lost on anniversaries as if the spiritual fabric of our souls has scarred but never forgotten the wound. My anger over the injustices is … Continue reading “Would have been 15 years today…”

Disturbed people only see it as leverage

The wicked flee though no one pursues…. -Proverbs 28:1a, NIV Disturbed people only see a history of cheating as leverage in a marriage. They could care less how the cheating has damaged and harmed the faithful spouse. The bigger problem for them is that they fear the faithful spouse “forever” holding it “over the head” … Continue reading “Disturbed people only see it as leverage”

Sadness remains

Grief lingers on long after forgiveness has put anger to bed. This is my experience now years removed from my divorce from a cheater. The anger is long gone. Yet I find myself feeling sad as I think of what was lost, tragically. I say tragically as it never had to happen. Yet God allows … Continue reading “Sadness remains”

I care about you, but not enough to…

The words of the reckless pierce like swords,     but the tongue of the wise brings healing. -Proverbs 12:18, NIV   I care about you BUT not enough… …to end my friendship with the adulterous spouse until she repents. My thoughts: “Sorry, your concern for me sounds skin deep. Scripture is clear that a person who … Continue reading “I care about you, but not enough to…”

My frustration with some “Christian” mental health providers

“If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive.” -Luke 17:3b, NLT Rebuke, repentance, THEN AND ONLY  THEN, forgiveness is to be offered. This is the order Jesus Himself gave us for godly forgiveness. However, this is usually NOT the order presented to faithful spouses or Christians in other traumatic situations. … Continue reading “My frustration with some “Christian” mental health providers”