When cheating happens, it damages more than just the marriage. It also destroys “friendships” as well. I have no problem questioning how Christian someone is who supports a Cheater over the faithful spouse while fully knowing of the infidelity. Minimally, they are NOT friendship material for the faithful spouse. Further, such people have different values … Continue reading “Nary an apology!”
Category: Grief
No forgiveness without wrongs acknowledged
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” -I John 1:9, KJV What good is forgiveness to someone who does not think he or she did anything wrong? It is worthless. They are not in bondage to a conscience warning them … Continue reading “No forgiveness without wrongs acknowledged”
Usually so much worse!
So, your Cheater cops to an “emotional affair” after you discovered compromising messages and confronted them. Are you sure that’s all it was?! I know we want to believe that was all it was. That was where I was at in my first marriage for a long time. I did not want to believe it … Continue reading “Usually so much worse!”
Regarding death of dreams
And all his sons and all his daughters rose up to comfort him; but he refused to be comforted…. -Genesis 37:35a, KJV Giving up the dreams regarding your marriage are tough. I had a dream of only being married once. My dream included only giving myself to one woman. I grew up in a Christian … Continue reading “Regarding death of dreams”
Good and bad news regarding friends
A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need. -Proverbs 17:17, NLT Good news and bad news about friends during times of marital distress: First, I will share the bad news: Some of the most painful betrayals will be friends and even family choosing the cheater over … Continue reading “Good and bad news regarding friends”
A song surfaces grief
Yesterday, Mrs. and Munchkin were with me at a local restaurant. A country song came on overhead, and I was immediately transported to my first honeymoon. Poignant was the memory. Kind of sad but also happy in the sense that it was a joyous time when the memory was made. This is grief. I am … Continue reading “A song surfaces grief”
Maybe it isn’t THAT bad? (It was worse.)
Maybe it isn’t so bad? Maybe it is “just” an emotional affair?! For me, knowing my Cheater had a physical affair was more traumatic than dealing with an emotional affair. So, I minimized what I knew was the case from evidence until the truth was unavoidable. The truth became unavoidable when she coped to committing … Continue reading “Maybe it isn’t THAT bad? (It was worse.)”
Beware: You are vulnerable!
Beware that the ending of your marriage leaves you vulnerable! I am not suggesting living in fear. However, I recommend a sober-eyed assessment about how your needs leave you open to unhealthy relationships. In separation and early divorce, you are grieving and learning how to deal with loneliness and loss of intimacy with the opposite … Continue reading “Beware: You are vulnerable!”
Unbidden memories
Sometimes the memories resurface at the strangest times. That’s the nature of grief. It ambushes and goes at its own speed. And the difficult memories are not the hard ones. They are the “good” memories. Those memories are the hardest for me, at least. “Good” memories drive home the thought that something worthwhile was truly … Continue reading “Unbidden memories”
Alluring Premature Forgiveness
…and if you see him going the wrong direction, cry out and correct him. If there is true repentance on his part, forgive him. -Luke 17:3, TPT What I find interesting is how much advice is given to faithful spouses about forgiveness as if this is the hardest part–convincing faithful spouses of the importance of … Continue reading “Alluring Premature Forgiveness”