Relief. The months of stone-cold or downright cruel responses. Warmth disappearing overnight like a Minnesotan May blizzard. It all started to make sense. I wasn’t imagining things. The Other Man. He existed. Had existed for months! This is one of the strangest and most surreal parts of discovering infidelity. The moment of confirmation is not only … Continue reading “Relief of knowing!”
Category: Grief
Make it stop!
My tears have been my food day and night, while people say to me all day long, “Where is your God?” -Psalm 42:3, NIV Just make it stop! I remember how this was the feeling I had early in my divorce process from my Cheater. It made me vulnerable to doing some soppy, chumpy things. Sometimes, … Continue reading “Make it stop!”
Healing requires reality acceptance
O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not! -Matthew 23:37, KJV Healing Requires Reality Acceptance We have to put down our “should’s” in order … Continue reading “Healing requires reality acceptance”
Happy Easter! Christ is risen!!!
Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance. -John 20:1, NIV My Cheater left me around Easter-time back over a decade ago. So, the holiday holds some complex emotions for me. So, if you … Continue reading “Happy Easter! Christ is risen!!!”
Happy Holy Saturday!
52 Going to Pilate, he asked for Jesus’ body. 53 Then he took it down, wrapped it in linen cloth and placed it in a tomb cut in the rock, one in which no one had yet been laid. -Luke 23:52-53, NIV Holy Saturday Within the Christian tradition, we recognize the day between Good Friday and Easter as … Continue reading “Happy Holy Saturday!”
Death of hope
I passed on to you what was most important and what had also been passed on to me. Christ died for our sins, just as the Scriptures said. -I Corinthians 15:3, NLT Death of hope They had all sorts of plans for Jesus. He was going to overthrow their oppressors, the Romans. Then he was … Continue reading “Death of hope”
Tainted Fruit
18 “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. 19 See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? -Isaiah 43:18-19a, NIV What do we do with the good things that we gained through our marriage to our Cheater?! It feels like tainted fruit, honestly. Such gifts are … Continue reading “Tainted Fruit”
Cannot put the genie back in the bottle
For the woman’s jealous husband will be furious, and he will show no mercy when he takes revenge. -Proverbs 6:34, NLT In the early stages post-discovery, it is natural to try to wake up from the “bad dream.” Unfortunately, you will learn–painfully–that the genie cannot go back into that bottle. If you are at all … Continue reading “Cannot put the genie back in the bottle”
Could have gone differently!
A danger for faithful spouses is focusing on the fantasy and not the reality of their situation. A spouse who cheats is the opposite of what the faithful spouse signed up for on their wedding day. Obviously, the marriage could have gone a very different way. That was the expectation, actually–i.e. a lifelong, faithful relationship. I think … Continue reading “Could have gone differently!”
Nary an apology!
When cheating happens, it damages more than just the marriage. It also destroys “friendships” as well. I have no problem questioning how Christian someone is who supports a Cheater over the faithful spouse while fully knowing of the infidelity. Minimally, they are NOT friendship material for the faithful spouse. Further, such people have different values … Continue reading “Nary an apology!”