She [the adulteress] gives no thought to the way of life; her paths wander aimlessly, but she does not know it. -Proverbs 5:6, NIV Sometimes, the wife decides she would rather live life as a single person. What makes this especially painful for those of us left behind is how shame is compounded to this … Continue reading “Sometimes the wife is the cheating abandoner”
Category: Sin
Best days ahead!
The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part. -Job 42:12a, NIV A lie the Enemy wants you to believe is that your life is over following adultery discovery and divorce. He wants you fearful that all that is left for you is awful following a divorce from a cheater. Some “Christians” … Continue reading “Best days ahead!”
The loss of friends
Yet my friends laugh at me, for I call on God and expect an answer. I am a just and blameless man, yet they laugh at me. -Job 12:4, NLT Years removed, it is still difficult to think of old “friends” and accept the friendship is over for good. These could have been relationships developed … Continue reading “The loss of friends”
Unhelpful point: God never intended marriage to end in divorce.
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a … Continue reading “Unhelpful point: God never intended marriage to end in divorce.”
You want to believe the denials, but…
You want to believe the denials, but… …you know the truth in your gut, and it feels awful. Some cheaters deny the truth for months or longer after getting caught. Others admit it (to varying degrees). Yet cheaters know that we are predisposed to believing their lies. Who wants to believe a loved one was … Continue reading “You want to believe the denials, but…”
Possible? Maybe. Likely? No.
As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly. -Proverbs 26:11, NIV Within the Christian community, so much pressure is placed upon faithful spouses to “reconcile” with their cheating partners. Sometimes lip service is given to the importance that the cheater has actually changed and will not cheat again. However, the general … Continue reading “Possible? Maybe. Likely? No.”
Purity Culture Standards: “Used Gum” Problematic Metaphor
Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery. -Hebrews 13:4, NLT Have you ever heard the metaphor or analogy that having sex outside of marriage is like chewing gum then offering that used gum to your (future) spouse? … Continue reading “Purity Culture Standards: “Used Gum” Problematic Metaphor”
Cling to the truth.
“Everyone on the side of truth listens to me.” -John 18:37b, NIV Truth: You did not drive your spouse to cheat (and abandon you). Truth: You do not deserve to be abused, and cheating is abuse. Truth: Divorcing a cheater is not sin. Truth: Divorcing an unrepentant cheater is not dooming your kids, rather you … Continue reading “Cling to the truth.”
Like a drug
When someone feels unlovable, I believe emotional affairs hold an especial allure. The temptation is to fill a legitimate need through sinfully illegitimate ways. A cheater takes their need to feel lovable and turns to the world to make them feel worthy of romantic pursuit. This might manifest through evenings at bars where she welcomes … Continue reading “Like a drug”
2 questions behind the questions
Two Questions Behind the Questions: 1. “Did you deserve the abandonment or being cheated on?” 2. “Did you learn your “lesson(s)” from being cheated on/divorced?” What a messed up world we live in where Christians are given a free pass to probe a soul rape victim with questions about what he or she has learned … Continue reading “2 questions behind the questions”