After discovering an inappropriate relationship, a strong indicator over the repentant nature of the cheater is how they handle that relationship going forward. They must choose: Is their marriage more important than this fantasy-fling or is this illicit relationship more important to them? A cheater who stays “friends” with their affair partner is telling faithful … Continue reading “Have to choose!”
Category: Sin
Cheater Speak: “I really never intended to hurt you.”
“You got to understand. I never intended to hurt you.” -Cheater Why would a cheater tell their spouse that they never wanted or intended to hurt them? I think this is all about protecting themselves. The cheater is attempting to protect themselves from the reality of what they did. By attempting to get agreement about … Continue reading “Cheater Speak: “I really never intended to hurt you.””
Stay away!
They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. Stay away from people like that! -2 Timothy 3:5, NLT A type of person emerged during my dark season. This is the type of person that the author of 2 Timothy warns us about in his letter. It is the … Continue reading “Stay away!”
Jesus condemned emotional affairs, too.
But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. -Matthew 5:28, NIV Too often, emotional affairs are treated by Christians and professionals as symptoms as opposed to sins. Clearly, Jesus saw emotional affairs as sins. They were only symptomatic insofar as they are … Continue reading “Jesus condemned emotional affairs, too.”
Decided not to call
I discovered many calls and texts between my (now) ex-wife and her adultery partner. They were at all times of the day and night. One of my counselors asked if I was interested in calling the Other Man (OM). I really was not interested. Looking back, I think I did not want to engage this … Continue reading “Decided not to call”
Initially thought it started good…
When we married, we likely had no idea our marriage would end the way it did. It was a happy day. Sure, the saying goes that hindsight is 20/20. We might now notice things we never noticed prior to that wedding day. However, the marriage started with hope and joy. That is healthy. I do … Continue reading “Initially thought it started good…”
Lectured by (ex) in-laws
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord. -Ephesians 6:4, NLT Show of–virtual–hands, how many had in-laws who lectured you about your deficiencies as a spouse? If you are looking for the source of blinding … Continue reading “Lectured by (ex) in-laws”
Cheater Apologist: “But was there anything true in his criticism?”
“Sure, some of what he stated was false. But was there anything true in his criticism of you?” -Cheater Supporter He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” -Genesis 3:1b, NIV Danger! Danger! Danger! When a cheater apologist encourages you to dig in the … Continue reading “Cheater Apologist: “But was there anything true in his criticism?””
Why are you exhorting the faithful spouse to forgive?
Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. -Romans 12:15, NKJV What astounds me about some Christians is how they believe they are helping faithful spouses by telling them that they must forgive their cheater. Most of us–faithful spouses–already understand forgiving our cheater is on the docket of things to do in … Continue reading “Why are you exhorting the faithful spouse to forgive?”
Calculated cheating
Cheating does not “just happen.” Even those cheating events that happen with alcohol involved are evidence of what is already in the heart. The substance just lowered their inhibitions to act on the sin in their hearts. What is worse is those cheaters–who are many–who plan out months or years of cheating. It is hard … Continue reading “Calculated cheating”