Adultery is self-damaging, NOT self-care!

So they are no longer two, but one flesh. -Matthew 19:6a, NIV The cheater approaching the affair as “self-care” or something “finally, for ME!” is self-deceived. You cannot sin against the marriage without also sinning against yourself. This is what the Judeo-Christian concept of marriage teaches us. The marriage partners are ONE. An affair certainly is … Continue reading “Adultery is self-damaging, NOT self-care!”

Choose “The Victorious Narrative!”

Instead of shame and dishonor,     you will enjoy a double share of honor. -Isaiah 61:7a, NLT Why would you choose to accept the lie-filled narrative from your cheater as your own narrative? Choose your own victory narrative! Remember: You are not the rejected spouse. RATHER, you are the FAITHFUL SPOUSE! You are not the morally … Continue reading “Choose “The Victorious Narrative!””

God’s gift of merciful ignorance

It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret. -Ephesians 5:12, NLT Sometimes not knowing everything is a mercy from God. I am convinced this is true in my case. The conversation I will never forget is the one I had with my (now) ex-wife finally admitting to an adulterous relationship … Continue reading “God’s gift of merciful ignorance”

Being older does not mean he is humble!

Let them alone: they be blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch. -Matthew 15:14, KJV I wish I could say an older pastor will be more discerning and wiser than a younger pastor on matters of adultery and divorce. But that would be a … Continue reading “Being older does not mean he is humble!”

Reconciliation longing and biblical responses

“Jerusalem, Jerusalem, who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, the way a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were unwilling.” -Matthew 23:37, NASB Following adultery discovery, a major part of the traumatic experience is the loss of relationships … Continue reading “Reconciliation longing and biblical responses”

Dear DM: Do I participate in the Cheater’s Catholic annulment process?

Hi DM, This one is a doozy so bear with me. Long story short, I was married for 10 years to a guy I had known for 20 (grew up together). Thought we were happy in the marriage, before uncovering his infidelities (Ashley Madison accounts, hours of pornography each day, hidden Snapchat account where he … Continue reading “Dear DM: Do I participate in the Cheater’s Catholic annulment process?”