Let’s retire the awful phrase: “Failed Marriage.” I find this phrase obnoxious for several reasons. In general, my objection to its use is how it communicates things that ought to have no place among God’s people. Let me explain… First, what do we mean by “failed marriage?” This implies there are successful and unsuccessful marriages. … Continue reading “Let’s retire the phrase: “failed marriage””
Category: Theology of divorce
But Christ pursued a spiritually adulterous people heresy…
True, Christ pursued a spiritually adulterous people… AND… Christ told a spiritually adulterous group of people to go to Hell (see Mt 25:41). One of the tired use of the Scripture for faithful spouses is the example of Christ pursuing the Church. The faithful spouse is shamed and browbeaten into staying married to an entitled … Continue reading “But Christ pursued a spiritually adulterous people heresy…”
A necessary ending
If a man is found sleeping with another man’s wife, both the man who slept with her and the woman must die. You must purge the evil from Israel. -Deuteronomy 22:22, NIV While we do not kill adulterous parties anymore in the USA, I do believe we can derive some wisdom from this verse. The finality of … Continue reading “A necessary ending”
Fighting Because NOT Primary Support
I suspect fights get more frequent with Cheaters because we are no longer their primary relationship and support. They have someone else. So, it costs less for them to harm the marriage relationship. They have less incentive to fix what they are harming as well. One of the gifts of divorce is freeing us from … Continue reading “Fighting Because NOT Primary Support”
I envy (am impressed by) some faithful spouses!
I envy some faithful spouses. The cheater cheats on them, gets discovered, and the faithful spouse does not even blink an eye in telling that cheater it is over. They refuse to be treated like that. They exercise their permission to divorce without looking back. That wasn’t me. I suspect many of us did what … Continue reading “I envy (am impressed by) some faithful spouses!”
Cheater-Speak: “I’m not divorcing you because of him.”
“I am not divorcing you because of him [Other Man].” -Adulteress Busted. And then the cheater busts out this mind messing statement. What is the cheater doing by making such a statement? They are doing several things. All them are bad, of course. In general, it is a particularly heinous thing for a cheater to say after … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I’m not divorcing you because of him.””
A decade of divorce
Today marks the ten year anniversary of my divorce. Looking back today, I am so grateful for the mercy of divorce. It cleared the way for the best things in my life today–namely, Mrs. DM, Munchkin, and my bird buddies. I have such a rich life today, which is only possible because I am no … Continue reading “A decade of divorce”
Emotional healing takes great time.
Probably the hardest part of healing from a divorce from a cheater are the lingering emotional wounds from that marriage. You have to find a way to ground yourself in reality. The truth is what will set you free from the cheater’s lies about you and your marriage. In other words, this reality is a … Continue reading “Emotional healing takes great time.”
On treating adultery as side issue re:divorce
“If a man commits adultery with his neighbor’s wife, both the man and the woman who have committed adultery must be put to death.” -Leviticus 20:10, NLT What astounds me with pastors and Christian marriage counselors who deal with marital infidelity situations is how too many treat cheating as incidental to a marriage ending in … Continue reading “On treating adultery as side issue re:divorce”
Season for divorce, too?
For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. – Ecclesiastes 3:1, NLT Do we really believe this Bible verse? If we do, I suggest “everything” includes a time for divorce. It may not be the best of all options–just as making war is not better than peace–yet like war, it … Continue reading “Season for divorce, too?”