“For I, the LORD, love justice. I hate robbery and wrongdoing. I will faithfully reward my people for their suffering and make an everlasting covenant with them.” -Isaiah 61:8, NLT When I was going through my ecclesiastical trial to keep my ministerial credentials, someone I trusted asked me why my former denomination was so fixated … Continue reading “Assigning blame for the divorce, why bother?”
Category: Theology of divorce
Does the Old Testament say to stone the faithful spouse as well?!
“If a man commits adultery with his neighbor’s wife, both the man and the woman who have committed adultery must be put to death.” -Leviticus 20:10, NLT I am not for bringing back the death penalty for adultery. Ok?! The point of quoting this verse is to expose the absurdity of blaming faithful spouses for … Continue reading “Does the Old Testament say to stone the faithful spouse as well?!”
Quick Update Re: Joshua Harris of “I KISSED DATING GOODBYE” book fame
Joshua Harris announced his “separation” from his wife recently. I did a post on that here. He has recently followed that announcement with two big pieces of news in another Instagram post: 1. The “separation” announcement was a divorce announcement according to Harris himself. He writes, “My heart is full of gratitude. I wish you … Continue reading “Quick Update Re: Joshua Harris of “I KISSED DATING GOODBYE” book fame”
Mailbag: Is there forgiveness without divorcing again?
Dear Divorce Minister, So I remarried and my circumstances aren’t clear. If I think I’ve sinned in doing so, is there forgiveness without divorcing again? I’m curious your toughts [sic]. -Sean Dear Sean, Since I do not know the circumstances surrounding the question, I am going to have to make some assumptions and give you … Continue reading “Mailbag: Is there forgiveness without divorcing again?”
Never-Divorce Stance Steals Faithful Spouse Agency
She saw that I divorced faithless Israel because of her adultery. -Jeremiah 3:8a, NLT The never-divorce stance of some Christians and pastors puts faithful spouses in a very passive position. They just have to take the abuse. Something is fundamentally wrong with one’s theology when accepting (and enabling, even) sin is what is taught. One … Continue reading “Never-Divorce Stance Steals Faithful Spouse Agency”
Don’t use the kids
When a divorce happens, time with the children is divided up between parents. The kids are the innocent victims of the destruction wrought by the cheater’s sinful behavior. They shouldn’t pay even more. Please do not deny access to the kids to the cheater as a way to punish him or her for their sins! … Continue reading “Don’t use the kids”
Mismatched values as in light and darkness
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? -2 Corinthians 6:14, KJV Whether one is abandoned or cheated on or both, the reality for faithful spouses is as stark as this verse from 2 Corinthians paints it. Light cannot fellowship with … Continue reading “Mismatched values as in light and darkness”
Joshua Harris’ Separation Announcement: Kissing Ordination Goodbye?
Joshua Harris is the author who wrote the purity-culture books I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship. If you came of age in the ’90s (or later) in the conservative Christian world, these books were unavoidable. Their ideas were taught all over the place as the way to go for Christian teenagers … Continue reading “Joshua Harris’ Separation Announcement: Kissing Ordination Goodbye?”
PSA: Adultery alone can cause divorce!
And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful. -Matthew 19:9, NLT It mystified me why good Christian pastors ever needed to hear more to the story of my marriage’s ending than verification that my ex-wife had committed adultery (and I hadn’t). The probing … Continue reading “PSA: Adultery alone can cause divorce!”
Awful Advice: “Don’t throw away your marriage over this!”
“‘If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife—with the wife of his neighbor—both the adulterer and the adulteress are to be put to death.’” -Leviticus 20:10, NIV “Don’t throw away your marriage over this,” the well-meaning pastor tells the sobbing faithful spouse upon discovery of the adulterous double life of their spouse. He misses … Continue reading “Awful Advice: “Don’t throw away your marriage over this!””