When I started dating for the second time, I had a few things I promised myself to do and some things I learned along the way (to Mrs. DM): I did not start dating until after I was officially divorced. My stance is that I needed to see the divorce to go through to be … Continue reading “My thoughts on dating”
Author: Divorce Minister
Not Blaming: Who does it really benefit?
Not Blaming: Who does it really benefit? I would argue refusing to assign blame in a situation with marital infidelity “benefits” the cheater. They get to be treated as if what happened was either a shared problem or an unfortunate event (both lies, by the way). In other words, they get to avoid taking responsibility … Continue reading “Not Blaming: Who does it really benefit?”
Memories bring grief
Grief comes in waves. It ambushes you sometimes from nowhere. I was collecting pictures for an old friend who knew me in my previously married state. In fact, he was the best man at that wedding–i.e. the wedding where I married my cheater. So, it is not surprising the review of those photos brought back … Continue reading “Memories bring grief”
Eyes of faith – Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. -Romans 8:28, NKJV Sometimes, Christians use this verse to short-circuit the grieving process. They try to silence someone in pain by quoting this at them. That is unhelpful. While I believe the Bible … Continue reading “Eyes of faith – Romans 8:28”
A mere footnoote
So the Lord blessed Job in the second half of his life even more than in the beginning. -Job 42:12a, NLT Faithful Spouses, we have a choice: Do we keep on allowing the cheater to be the central player in our life story or do we go out and take command of our story forging decisions … Continue reading “A mere footnoote”
Refuse Responsibility For Emotional Affairs
“If only you had spent more time talking with me, I wouldn’t have cheated on you with him,” says Cheater. Do NOT take responsibility for your cheater’s emotional affair! Your cheater–and others–may try to blame you for being cheated on, but that is just wrong. The cheater could have chosen otherwise. She is 100% responsible … Continue reading “Refuse Responsibility For Emotional Affairs”
A song to soothe
Songs are such wonderful gifts. I find music helps me move truth from my head down to my heart. Here’s one song I love to listen to when I feel anxious. It helps me reconnect with the truth of God’s love for me. The song is “No Longer Slaves” by Bethel Music: *This post ran … Continue reading “A song to soothe”
Review of “Betrayal: The Perfect Husband”
“Betrayal: The Perfect Husband” is a three-part documentary on Hulu based on a podcast (“Betrayal: Season One”) on the same subject matter. The story follows one faithful spouse, Jen, and the story of her discovering her husband, Spencer, as both a cheater and criminal having sexually abused some of his high school students. The TV … Continue reading “Review of “Betrayal: The Perfect Husband””
“Stuck in Victimhood” Label
He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. -Micah 6:8, NIV Is it acting justly to shame infidelity victims for daring to voice the truth of being victimized? This is what can happen when … Continue reading ““Stuck in Victimhood” Label”
Monogamy is NOT the problem!
“…‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’…” -Matthew 19:5b, NKJV Monogamy–i.e. marriage–is NOT the problem! Even during the separation from my first wife, I understood this. I did not have a problem with the institution itself. My problem was … Continue reading “Monogamy is NOT the problem!”